“Uncertainty is the only certainty, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~ John Allen Pauls
Uncertainty has always been a fact of life, but I think we can all agree that its looming presence seems more valid than ever.
As if uncertainty about personal matters — finding love, holding down a job, raising healthy children — wasn’t challenging enough, now we face political, environmental and technological uncertainty on an unprecedented scale.
Polarizing figures are running for office and winning.
Hot domes and super blizzards are disrupting our quality of life.
Artificial intelligence may single-handedly disrupt entire fields of work.
Suffice to say the uncertainty has not gone away.
This raises a lot of questions in my own life. How can I secure my future? Am I ready to give up some comforts? Should I stock up on more emergency food and water?
I’ve come to realize that it’s in my best interest to learn how to live with uncertainty—not just to make it less unbearable, but to awaken the personal side of dancing with the unknown. strength.
A few years ago, I was given a wake-up call about new uncertainties for which I was unprepared.
I suffered a work-related injury that turned my life upside down. For nearly a year, I lived in a state of severe physical and mental pain, unable to work or care for myself. Combing my hair and putting on my tight jeans was difficult.
Long after my injury healed, my doctor told me that lingering chronic pain might be permanent. Suddenly, I had to consider a future in which I would be unemployed, completely dependent on others, and in constant pain. But after months of mental torture, I finally found a glimmer of hope.
My true power lies in my ability to embrace the unknown.
From that moment on, I began taking risks to create the life I truly wanted. I left the career that led to my injury and started over, even though I had no proof that I would be successful. I choose to believe that I can reinvent my future and thrive.
Your power is not measured by how well you perform when the temperature is just right, everyone agrees with you, and results are guaranteed. When life is smooth and predictable, it’s easy for us to be friendly and confident.
But what do you do when your child has a meltdown two minutes before an interview?
Or has your landlord decided not to renew your lease?
Or has your spouse been diagnosed with a chronic illness?
In these moments, you have the opportunity to break old habits—catastrophic, finger-pointing, or outright falling apart—and start trusting yourself to grow into a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.
Everything has a degree of uncertainty. I believe mastering the art of living with the unknown is the secret to success in anything you put your mind to—whether it’s building a business or re-entering the dating world.
Because your relationship with uncertainty is a choice.
What if you could become a master of magic, able to handle, cope with, and exploit life’s unexpected situations?
What if being with the unfolding unknown felt empowering, even magical?
That’s not to say it’s wrong to feel scared or sad about change. It’s normal to feel uneasy when everything that once felt safe is now on the chopping block. But endless pain is not necessary, healthy, or empowering.
If you let your survival brain take over, you can easily slip into indecision and doubt, which clouds the possibilities.
When everything seems out of control, gain strength by experiencing your unrealized self-agency—and remember that you have a choice in every moment.
To be fair, the world is changing in very real, very harmful ways. When your rights are being taken away, global warming is destroying the planet, and no one can agree on the “truth,” we need to mobilize to create the change that is desperately needed. When you’re busy complaining, struggling, or avoiding problems, you can’t change the situation.
Expanding your ability to accept uncertainty is an inevitable journey that life will keep inviting you to take part in until you finally say yes.
Here are a few ways to start a new relationship with uncertainty.
4 Ways to Master the Art of Living with Uncertainty
1. Reduce anxiety and increase curiosity.
Anxiety is the result of internalized threat sensors being activated, which is natural, but it can easily become a self-perpetuating cycle.
Intercepting anxiety is a superpower you want to have. It enables you to solve problems out of curiosity like a wizard. Curiosity is neutral, nonjudgmental, and open to possibilities. It doesn’t care about failure; it only cares about learning. It doesn’t listen to your ego; it doesn’t listen to your ego. It simply draws insights from your deeper wisdom. Curiosity will help you spark ideas and take action. Anxiety can destroy innovation and paralyze you.
There are countless tools that can help you turn off stress signals in your brain. Try this breathing technique whenever you feel anxious. Pause what you are doing, inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for four counts. Repeat several times. Small interventions like breathing have a powerful cumulative effect in increasing the resilience of the nervous system.
2. Consult your three intelligence centers.
They say you have three brains—one in your head, one in your heart, and one in your gut. There are literally thousands of neurons in your heart, and we all know that gut feeling in our belly.
Each of these centers of wisdom will provide you with its own meaningful information if you stop and listen. All you have to do is ask your head, heart, and gut what they think is right about the situation you’re facing.
To get the most out of this practice, go to a quiet, distraction-free space. Focus your energy, inspire curiosity, and look within for wisdom. “What do my heart, gut, and mind know that is important to me in this situation?”
When I made the decision to quit my 9-5 job and become a therapist, my heart and gut completely agreed with the decision. I felt excited and relieved when I realized what I really wanted to do. But my mind was initially filled with questions like, “How do I start taking steps to make this happen?” and “How do I take this risk?”
Sometimes your intellectual centers may not be aligned, which can create a feeling of inner conflict. This is completely normal. Your three centers are consulted to gather information.
In my case, the practicality of my mind was not ready to shake hands with my feelings and intuition. So I knew I needed to listen carefully to my inner wisdom, which was saying loud and clear: “You need to plan carefully and don’t make any naive decisions!”
3. When in doubt, remember you always have two options.
As you strive to embrace change or uncertainty, remember that you always have one of two options: surrender gracefully or stand up and make a difference. In other words, you can change your mind about the situation, or you can change the situation.
Making a decision can feel taxing. Wouldn’t it be easier to choose one of two options instead of endlessly resisting, lamenting, or overthinking?
Whether you decide to surrender or take action, just ask yourself, “What is the next smallest step I need to take?” Focus on one small step at a time.
4. Sow new seeds.
How often do you doubt yourself or assume the worst? How likely are you to label your experience as “difficult,” “impossible,” or “unfair”? If you allow limiting beliefs to run amok, you give up a lot of rent-free space in your mind to thoughts that don’t serve you well. Focusing on hopelessness and hopelessness creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don’t do that.
You were created to achieve a greater purpose – believing and embodying this truth may be your greatest unfulfilled strength. Choosing to believe that you have free will, are inherently valuable, and have unlimited creativity is a game-changing strategy that few take advantage of.
You can create your life narrative. What do you want to believe about yourself and what are you able to achieve? Get specific, write them down, and regularly practice grounding these beliefs and embodying them.
Embodying a belief means that when you think about it, it feels consistent within you. If you don’t embody faith emotionally, it’s just an empty idea. If a new belief feels like a big jump, start small. Remind yourself, “Even though I feel this way, I’m learning to feel differently.”
When I first started talking about my work as a therapist in front of people, I wasn’t used to the visibility and vulnerability it required. Even though I felt ecstatic about helping others, I was surprised to learn that it was also scary.
I knew I needed to grow in my ability to let others see me and take up space where I could feel safe. So I began to gently remind myself that “I am safe when I am seen,” because I embody that inner security. This is not an overnight trick. It’s a dedicated practice that takes time and perseverance to stick to.
Planting seeds is a long-term investment in yourself—consider it a non-negotiable part of your wellness routine and a sacred memory of who you are becoming and where you are going.
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Strengthening your relationship with uncertainty will lead to unimaginable success in your relationships, career, and creative endeavors because it will enable you to seize opportunities that you would otherwise fear to seize. It will also help you better cope with the challenges of today’s times.
If you’re hesitant about big decisions because you’re afraid of the unknown, just ask yourself what will make you proud of yourself in the long run. Treat every obstacle or misfortune as a learning opportunity, and your only job is to stay curious and transform for the better. This will boost your confidence and confidence. Eventually you will realize that you are more comfortable with uncertainty. Last but not least, be sure to celebrate this big win!
About Chrissy Loveman
Krissy Loveman is a trauma-informed life coach who helps people regain control of their self-limiting thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Check out her free resources to start releasing old patterns and exploring new possibilities.
