“You may not be able to control every situation and its outcome, but you can control how you handle it.” ~Unknown
I recently moved to Florida, a decision I have made in thirty years.
I grew up in Haiti and have always longed to return to a warmer climate. I remember when we first moved to the United States, we had a layover in Miami and I thought, “Why don’t we stay here?” Moving to Boston at ten o’clock, the cold rain was shocking, and ever since then I’ve Always dreamed of Florida.
That’s the thing about dreams – they take time, and life sometimes gets in the way. I stayed in Boston to attend college, build my career, and raise my daughter, and every time I considered moving south, there was something else that needed my attention.
When my daughter graduated high school, I decided the time was right. So I handed in my resignation, let my landlord know we were moving out, and started planning a move to Florida.
You may be wondering, “Are you really just moving for the sun and palm trees?? Well, yes and no. That’s all great (especially after decades of winters in Boston!), but the truth is, it’s much more profound. It was about finding a sense of belonging, reclaiming the pieces of myself I had lost along the way, and reconnecting with the warmth that reminded me of my childhood in Haiti.
Leaving Boston wasn’t easy. Friends, routine, community – I built a life there. This is a terrible decision. Some nights I lay awake, filled with doubt, but deep down, I felt like it was right.
Looking back on this move, here are five lessons I learned that I hope you can relate to.
Lesson 1: Embrace the unknown.
The fear of the unknown is often one of the most daunting parts of any major life transition. For me, moving to Florida was no different. I had to leave behind everything familiar and enter a world of uncertainty.
I spent thirty years building a comfortable life in Boston. But comfort can be a double-edged sword—it can keep you from exploring and discovering new parts of yourself.
On my first morning walk in Florida, I noticed that everything felt different—the air was warmer, the pace was rather slow, and the faces were all unfamiliar. At that time, I suddenly realized: I really have to start over.
But it also reminded me of when I first moved to Boston from Haiti as a kid, and how different everything felt back then. Once I got used to it, I knew I could do it again.
Yes, the unknown can be scary, but when you embrace it—when you open yourself to new experiences, people, and places, growth happens.
You have to be willing to explore, try new things, make mistakes and learn from them.
Lesson 2: Plans don’t always work.
I’m a great planner. I like to have everything planned out and know exactly what will happen and when. So, before we moved, we knew where we were going to live, what college our daughter was going to attend, and how we were going to adjust to the new city.
But life had other plans.
We faced unexpected challenges—delays, schedule changes, and problems we didn’t foresee.
For example, just before our move, the moving company that had agreed to deliver our belongings canceled at the last minute. I remember standing in the middle of our crowded living room filled with hundreds of packed boxes and feeling completely overwhelmed. How could something so important go so wrong at the last minute?
Finally, we scrambled to find alternatives. When we finally did, the new company was delayed by a few days, leaving us stranded with all our stuff packed up and nowhere to go.
So here’s the thing – no matter how perfect your plans are, life is always going to throw you a curveball. I have to admit that plans don’t always work and when things don’t go as expected, adaptability is what really gets you through it.
Lesson 3: People handle change differently.
One thing I’ve learned about change is that everyone experiences change differently. Each of us has our own perspective and our own way of processing and reacting to what is happening around us.
Full of nerves and excitement, my daughter is trying to enter adulthood, balancing her part-time job with college orientation and a new social scene. My husband, who is usually a rocker, had a hard time adjusting to our new surroundings and missed his after-get off work life and his usual grocery store visits.
In my case, I was responsible for managing the logistical and emotional toll of the move and trying to get everything on track while running a business that was still in its foundational stages.
What works for us? Check in with each other regularly.
It’s powerful to ask and truly listen to each other’s well-being and how each of us is responding to this move. Taking the time to understand and connect with each other makes all the difference.
Lesson 4: Find your anchor.
In the midst of all the uncertainty and chaos that comes with major life changes, finding something that grounds you (what I call an anchor) becomes your lifeline. These can be routines, habits, or places that give you a sense of stability when everything else is changing.
For me, journaling has become that sacred anchor. It’s time for me to slow down, live in the moment, and listen to myself. Every morning, I pick up my journal and simply ask:
“How do I feel now?”
This question means a lot to me. It’s not just about writing things down – it’s about connecting deeply with yourself. It helps me embrace all that is new in Florida, from the excitement of new beginnings to the occasional twinge of missing what I left behind.
Lesson 5: Don’t forget to laugh.
Mistakes happen, especially during big moves.
Like when we realize we packed the essentials in the wrong box. We rummaged through the boxes in the middle of the night and found only kitchen utensils and winter clothes. We ended up using towels as makeshift pillows.
We feel incredibly stressed, exhausted and frustrated. But then we laughed.
In frustrating moments, finding something to laugh about can change your perspective and remind you that even in the most chaotic of times, there are moments of joy and connection.
Take a moment to think about these points.
- How do you cope with change? Do you find yourself trying to control every aspect, feeling frustrated, or using humor to cope?
- What unexpected changes have you encountered recently? How did you adapt?
- How can you support those around you during times of change? Remember, you are not the only one going through change; So do the people around you.
Change is inevitable, but how we deal with it determines our journey. Embrace the unknown, support each other, and don’t forget to laugh along the way.
About Marjean Lott
Madjeen Lorthe, M.Ed., ACC, is a certified life and career transition coach and the founder of Transitions Well Done. With over twenty years of experience in nonprofits and mental health counseling, she creates a supportive environment that encourages women on their journeys of self-discovery and increased resilience. Madjeen coaches her clients to balance professional aspirations and personal goals while prioritizing well-being during major life transitions.
