“Have a little bit of faith in your ability to handle whatever comes your way. Believe that you have enough strength and wisdom to handle any challenge that comes your way. ~ Lori Deschene
My life is unpredictable.
These days, it feels like I wake up not knowing what obstacles I will face or how to deal with it all. Is the world becoming more challenging, or is it just me?
There seemed to be no magic carpet that could save me, nor any of us ready to take us off into the sunset into Aladdin’s “whole new world” with its “gleaming splendor.”
Are you like me and wondering, “How is everyone else doing right now?”
The other day, in an effort to get my head back on track, I pulled out my self-development toolbox. I started digging around to see what I had on hand from all the self-development books and blog posts I’d read, the therapists I’d seen, and the workshops I’d attended.
The usual suspects come to mind: Embrace change! Practice mindfulness! Find your purpose! Take back your power! While this quartet sounds like a tried-and-true collection of greats, it feels like I’m trying to harness the rules of Candyland to ride a fire-breathing dragon from Game of Thrones.
help.
Like many others I come into contact with, such as family, clients, and friends, I feel uncertainty increasing on an ongoing basis. The hardest part is not having the luxury of curling up, closing the blinds, and hiding under a blanket because there are bills to pay, jobs and careers to face, and families to look after.
So where do I get confidence in my ability to handle life?
I think back to my childhood as a Gen-X kid. I grew up in a small town on a cul-de-sac with ten brothers and sisters, and I had to figure out how to fend for myself from an early age. The food goes quickly and I have to hunt for it and make sure I get my portion. If there was a school project, I would have to find bits and pieces at home, tape them together and create a proper report, then present it to the class myself.
My parents wouldn’t knock it down with glue and popsicle sticks. once.
Using the phrase “I’m bored” gets you handed the broom and the baby, so I keep myself busy and out of the sight of adults. Whenever I needed a ride anywhere, I had to figure out how to get there and back home, and I got stuck multiple times.
The superpower I developed as a child to survive was resourceful.
By definition, it is the ability to find quick and smart ways to overcome difficulties and take advantage of methods that others typically ignore or give up on. If I don’t get what I want or need, I will have to use limited resources or no resources to create possibilities.
I developed curiosity, the ability to take care of myself, and the determination to find solutions in the face of adversity and solve problems for myself and my younger siblings. I made clothes, learned to sew my own clothes, cooked, and became an expert storyteller and white lie teller.
I became hypervigilant so that I could figure out how to read the emotional states of adults consumed by their own responsibilities and their own unfulfilled dreams. Staying away from harm, such as my father’s wrath or my teacher’s punishment, became my specialty. Friends are everything and they, along with the outdoors, helped me have an incredible childhood with so many fun memories.
What I learned from my childhood is this: the problem is not always a lack of resources; this is lack resourceful This will cause failure.
We think we need some resources like money, the right technology, the right connections, enough time, the best lawyers, etc., and while this is true, we are struggling because we lack the ultimate resource – which is Emotionally. When you dig deep and tap into your emotional resources, you can access almost any other resource on the planet.
It’s time to develop emotional and practical resourcefulness
Here are my five tips for staying mentally strong and coping with whatever life throws your way.
1. Make use of what you have.
When I was a kid, no one went to the store to buy daily necessities, fashion trinkets, or even essentials like pajamas, pencils, and enough socks. We use and reuse things around us.
Even if I can afford to buy what I need, I like to take a look at my Amazon shopping cart and double check if I have anything at home that I can use temporarily or ask in a nearby WhatsApp group. You’d be surprised at the goods and services people offer for free. You just have to ask.
Bartering also works. I traded my marketing services for paid vacation, tuition for my kids, and a plane ticket to stay at my house for a night or two.
2. Cultivate your passion.
If I wanted the latest thing the other kids had, or wanted to go get pizza with friends, I would babysit, rake leaves, and ask my grandmother for money. I found that if I played her a song on the piano and told her I was the best and prettiest in the class, she would give me $5. This makes us both happy!
Get invitations by making friends with people you admire and want to be like. Ease into the neighborhood of your choice by shopping at nearby grocery stores and coffee shops and talking to the people there. You can also sign up for training and meetings at town parks and recreation centers in these communities. No matter where you go, never stop having a busy mentality.
3. Practice talking to yourself.
Throughout my childhood, I sat on the top bunk bed in a crowded bedroom with my sisters and kept telling myself that one day I would be a writer, just like I did in my favorite book As I read, anne of green gables. I knew one day I would sell my story and get the money I wanted. I’ll do it today!
When I see a lot of things around me that I don’t like, I remind myself that one day I will look like the well-dressed women in my mother’s magazines: brightly colored clothes, big smiles. Seek external inspiration for this and have positive, goal-oriented conversations with yourself.
When something doesn’t go your way, tell yourself, “I don’t like it, it’s an inconvenience, and This is temporary. no but This is temporary; says andor in addition. “And it’s temporary.” That’s how you talk to yourself, former prisoner of war, ” choose. “Whatever happens, it’s temporary and I can get through it.”
4. Trust your gut.
I believe you have an intuition to figure it out. We come home from school, find friends outside to hang out with, keep ourselves alive, and realize when to avoid dangerous adults (most of the time).
Trust your instincts to kick in when needed, and it might be the last minute, but you’ll always figure it out.
5. Know you have a unique purpose.
I knew my goal was to be a writer, and I did well on my writing assignments in elementary school. Never underestimate the power you have to make a difference with your talents or goals, and believe that you have something to offer the world—and deliver it.
When I was at my lowest, I would volunteer at a rehab center for just one hour a week just to feel purposeful, and I got miraculous rewards from the experience.
Bonus tip: Create a support system
No one can handle life’s challenges alone, and building a strong support system is essential for mental strength. As a Generation X kid, we always had friends on the street to hang out with; we were always around each other.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Share your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend or family member (and/or professional) who can provide valuable perspective and emotional support. Having a support system not only eases the burden, but also gives you the much-needed mental fortitude to develop a strong will.
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While life is unpredictable, by incorporating these five practices into your life, you can build a foundation of mental strength that will serve you well in any situation.
Remember, staying mentally strong is not about running away from challenges, but about facing them head-on with resourcefulness, courage, resilience and a positive attitude. Armed with these tools, you’ll be better able to cope with life’s unpredictable journey and emerge stronger on the other side.
“Know that you always have the ability to make the best of everything. Even if you don’t want it or ask for it, even if it seems scary, difficult, or unfair, you can make something good out of any loss or difficulty. You can learn from it, grow from it, help others get through it, and maybe even thrive from it. The future is unknown, but you can be sure of this: No matter what happens, you’re going to get this.
About Esther Litchfield-Fink
Esther Litchfield-Fink is an expert in oral and written communication. You can follow her at estherfink.com. Sign up for a free introductory call here and get on the roster for her digital course, How to Heal a Toxic Relationship. She holds a Master’s Degree in Organizational Psychology and has been featured 3 times on tinyBuddha.com as well as many other websites.
