How are the boys?
For most of history, parents preferred boys, viewing them as the breadwinner, the family legacy, and the heir to the throne. One dark consequence of China’s 36-year-old one-child policy 120 boys versus 100 Girl birth rate. But in 21st-century America, the script seems to be flipped. this New York Times There has been something like “I want a daughter, I want a son” and”It’s a boy, it’s okay to be disappointed.“ Boys who fall behind in school are more likely to have behavioral problems and are more likely to be both perpetrators and victims of violence. Shifting gender norms, changing ideas of masculinity, and the fierce political battles surrounding these issues make childhood and parenthood even more complex. Raising boys these days is not easy.
Today’s guests know this very well. Ruth Whippman is BoyMom: Reimagining childhood in the age of impossible masculinity, and mother of three little boys. The book tells the story of her experience as a modern “boy mom” living in the hyper-progressive Bay Area and what she learned from studying the psychology and sociology of boys and talking to boys and men across the country and across the political spectrum. Something about their experiences and, more importantly to the subject of this book, how they felt.
Watch the full conversation reason‘s YouTube channel or just asking questions Podcast sources on Apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcatcher.
Sources cited in this conversation:
- New York Times: I want a daughter, I want a son
- New York Times: It’s a boy, it’s okay to be disappointed
- Gender differences in individual differences in academic achievement do not fit expected patterns in STEM
- Poverty hurts boys the most: Inequality at the intersection of class and gender
- Loneliness around the world: age, gender and cultural differences in loneliness
- Provisional estimates of suicide rates by demographic characteristics: United States, 2022
- Andrew Tate’s 10 Rules for Life About Rumble (discussed at 55:28)
Timestamp:
- 00:00 Introduction to monologue
- 01:24 Introducing Ruth Whippman
- 02:20 Nature and nurture in childhood
- 05:31 Boys’ emotional vulnerability
- 06:31 Parenting Strategies for Boys
- 09:56 Cultural changes and gender preferences
- 14:01 Raising boys in progressive fields
- 27:28 Challenges boys face in school
- 41:34 Traditional masculinity and emotional connection
- 45:47 The American Psychological Association’s stance on traditional masculinity
- 53:16 The hero’s journey and male expectations
- 55:28 Andrew Tate’s influence on young people
- 01:04:18 Men’s high-agency worldview and self-help
- 01:14:17 Promoting boys’ emotional and relationship skills
- 01:16:19 Final thoughts and reflections
- Producer: John Oosterhout
