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So, with the nomination of Trump and his Vice President J.D. Vance, America woke up today to the fact that two white men will likely rule this country for the next four years. One Hitler costs as much as two Hitlers. So what’s going on? Why are evil white people not only leading in the polls, but adding to minority voters like Joey Behar added to his chin? Now, these two evil white men make the Democratic Party look as organized as a 7-11 vandalism.
The truth is, there are key differences between the left and the right that transcend policy, which is why people of all stripes are turning to the Republican Party. At its core, the right loves America. They’re not afraid to show it. They are the ones who stand for the national anthem, who love the military, who see America as a force for good and who find fulfillment in their families, their country and this show. But the left is as miserable as Morning Joe when Micah is on a diet. Or Mika when Joe gets his period. Both sides have their warriors, that’s for sure. But at least the right is a happy warrior. That’s why we win. Thanks to Trump, Republicans are back to normal.
To understand the difference between the two sides, just look at the reactions to the assassination attempts. Think about it. People they hated were gunned down and they were the ones suffering, including many who made no secret of their wish the shooter hadn’t missed. But what happens when one of our men is shot? Everyone is shouting America! With his head crumpled by AK bullets, Trump seeks out those who ingest his scent with a mixture of contempt and love for his country. Because of course that’s what he meant by “fighting.” He meant fighting for this place, fighting for its founding principles, its freedoms, its strengths, not its damn name.
Trump leads Biden in blue states after assassination attempt: polls
Now, imagine the opposite situation. Imagine what it would be like if Joe lost one of his hair plugs. He was to stay at Walter Reed for a month. What a stark contrast. One president has a bleeding ear, another needs a miracle ear. You could wrap Trump’s entire head in bandages like a mummy, but he’d still be more aware of his surroundings than Old Joe. Biden rally? They’re in such a boring, sad place: a high school gymnasium, and everyone acts like they’re having a doctor’s appointment, a cross between Dr. Frankenstein and Dr. Kevorkian.
Meanwhile, Trump’s rallies were big and joyful, even as shootings occurred and people mourned. But they also moved on. You can’t take them off. Trump has faced figurative bullets and now real bullets, but he has only grown stronger. He always has a smile on his face. A real smile, too, not the skeletal smile Biden’s plastic surgeon pinned his ears to the back of his head. Circumstances made Trump a stronger, more dynamic person. The media has been trying to portray him as weak. Oh look, he fell. Just a loud bang. Oh, that’s probably glass, right? If these people were covering the Hindenburg, they would be telling us, well, someone just farted. But if this happens to Biden, the media will cry like Chris Christie when the McRib is discontinued.
Meanwhile, the law against Trump is falling apart like the toilet seat on Lizzo’s toilet. I love the word “toilet”, what can I say? Americans of all colors and races think this is nonsense. So does it all seem to be about timing? Between Biden’s pathetic debates, Trump’s just-turned-shooting, the end of the document prosecution, and today’s conviction of Menendez, we see how corrupt Democrats led a man accused of being an agent of a foreign power to stay in Senate Foreign Relations Committee and received confidential briefings during the trial. Democrats, maybe it’s time to ask yourselves, will any of this happen when God or some other force for good is on the other side? Because in this movie, we are the good guys and the Democrats know they are ultimately the bad guys, and the reward will come this November.
So if you have any doubts about this, just look at the supporters on both sides. Trump supporters are glad Dad is ready to fight, sure, but glad so. On the other side are hysterical, panic-stricken sullen types as unhappy as Jerry Nadler’s belt buckle. But the celebrity on the right is rocking it out but enjoying the fight.
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Finally, look at the name of Trump’s deputy communications director. Her name is Caroline Sunshine. This is indeed her name. Can you find a happier name than Caroline Sunshine? She even looks like Caroline Sunshine. It’s no surprise, however, that Joe’s name is Biden, because that’s all he does: Biden time.