“Perfection is impossible, but if we pursue perfection, we can achieve excellence.” ~ Vince Lombardi
Okay, let’s be honest. As I sit here trying to write this perfect The irony of the article about embracing imperfection is not lost on me. I have rewritten this opening paragraph about five times now. Old habits die hard, right?
Picture this: Wednesday at 2:37 PM. I paced the lecture hall and watched my law students scribbling furiously on exam papers. Their furrowed brows and tense pen grips reminded me of myself not too long ago.
Thinking back to my own law school days. I’m the typical top student. Nose forever buried in case books, surviving on coffee and sheer determination. Perfect grades, a perfect internship, a perfect career trajectory—these are not just goals, they are my entire identity. I put so much pressure on myself that I was surprised my hair didn’t turn gray by graduation. (Spoiler alert: It’s only starting now, but I digress.)
Fast forward to my transition from practicing law to teaching law. I thought I had it all figured out. Professor Kalyani Abhyankar has a perfect legal mind and is here to shape the next generation of lawyers. Ha! If only I had known what I was facing.
It was during one particularly “memorable” lecture that my perfectionist façade began to crack. I spent hours preparing what I thought was the perfect constitutional statement. I’m on fire if I do say so myself, citing cases as quickly as a human legal repository. Then something happened. I’m confusing two landmark cases.
fear! shame! At that moment, I swear I could hear the ghost of Justice Brandeis crying. I stood on the podium, motionless, waiting for the ground to swallow me whole.
But then something unexpected happened. One student raised his hand and asked, “Professor Abuyanka, are you okay?”
Just like that, the dam burst. All my insecurities came out in front of the class. I worried that I wasn’t good enough, was under so much pressure to be perfect all the time, and worried that one mistake could ruin my entire career.
To my shock, what I got instead of judgment was…understanding? Even empathy? One of my students actually said, “Wow, Professor. We always thought you were an untouchable legal genius. But… this makes you human. It’s kind of inspiring, actually.”
Inspiring? I? The one who broke down in front of the class? But as I looked around the room, I saw people nodding and looking relieved. It’s like by showing my own vulnerability, I’m giving them permission to be imperfect.
This was the beginning of my chaotic, often frustrating, but ultimately liberating journey of embracing imperfection. Let me tell you, it was not a smooth process.
At first, I tried to schedule “imperfect times” into my day. Yes, you read that right. I, Kalyani Abhyankar, a recovering perfectionist, tries to perfect the art of imperfection. I assure you, the irony is not lost on me.
There are also many setbacks. I resolved to be more laid-back in class, only to find myself obsessively color-coding handouts at 2 a.m. I promised myself that I wouldn’t overthink the student’s question and then spend hours wondering whether my off-the-cuff answer on tort law was comprehensive enough.
But slowly, oh so slowly, things started to change. I began to look at my classroom with new eyes. I’ve noticed that the most engaging discussions are often prompted by questions that I can’t immediately answer. I’ve seen students learn more from mistakes than from memorizing perfect answers.
Here are some changes I stumbled upon:
1. Practice self-compassion
Instead of beating myself up for every failure, I tried to be kind to myself as I would a struggling student. This means recognizing my efforts regardless of the outcome. Yes, sometimes that means looking in the mirror and saying, “You did a great job, Kalyani,” even if I feel like a complete liar.
2. Set realistic goals
Instead of striving for impossible standards of perfection, I learned to set goals that were challenging but achievable. This allows me to celebrate progress and stay motivated. Novel concept, right?
3. Embrace the learning process
I began to see my mistakes and those of my students as valuable teaching moments rather than failures. Every setback becomes an opportunity to deepen understanding and develop critical thinking. Who knew “I don’t know, let’s figure it out together” could be such a powerful statement in the classroom?
4. Develop a growth mindset
I stopped viewing legal ability as fixed and began to emphasize to my students (and myself) the ability to develop skills through hard work and practice. This makes us all more willing to solve challenging legal problems, even if we don’t always get it right the first time.
5. Give up comparing
I realized that constantly comparing myself to other professors or legal scholars was just as productive as trying to teach constitutional law to my cat. Instead, I focus on my unique strengths as an educator and mentor.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I still have days when the perfectionist in me rears its head and gets dressed up. I still occasionally wake up in the middle of the night agonizing over a word choice in a class note. Rome was not built in a day, and neither is the recovery of a perfectionist overnight.
But more importantly: when I learned to accept my imperfections, I actually became a better professor. Freed from the constraints of perfectionism, I am more creative in my teaching approach, more willing to address controversial legal topics, and more open to feedback from students and colleagues.
My students seem to prefer this new, slightly messier version of Professor Abuyanka. They were more engaged, more willing to take risks in their thinking, and—dare I say it—they seemed to be having more fun. Who knew the Constitution could actually be enjoyable?
To those who are still stuck in perfectionism, whether in law school, legal practice, or any other field, I offer hard-won wisdom: Your worth is not determined by perfect performance. There is profound power in vulnerability by acknowledging that you are still learning and growing.
Embrace your imperfections. They are not weaknesses to be hidden, but rather unique aspects of you as a professional and as a human being. Give up the exhausting pursuit of perfection and instead pursue growth and authenticity.
In doing so, you may discover that you achieve something far greater than perfection—you achieve a fulfilling and beautiful life. What if you happen to be confused by some Supreme Court cases? Well, you have a good relationship.
About Kalyani Abhiyankar
Kalyani Abhyankar is a law professor and mindset coach specializing in administrative law and consumer protection. She is passionate about helping others develop limitless mindsets and personal growth through her work at LinkedIn and beyond.
