Emotions are running high right now. We’ve just finished a national election, and some are upset and some are excited. We also have the upcoming holidays which will bring many family and friends together. All of this means many of us are under a lot of stress.
At our core, we are humans, and what differentiates us from robots is that we have thoughts and feelings. These emotions can lead to stress and anxiety that need to be dealt with.
Smart research project
Recently, I conducted a study called the Wisdom Research Project, in which I interviewed 60 wise adults. I was able to scientifically define eight different elements of wisdom: resilience, kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity, and curiosity. While I listed the eight elements that make up wisdom, what struck me most was the sense of calm the interviewees displayed after going through great hardships. We all need to cultivate that underlying positivity to get through this time.
Here’s how to find positivity and a sense of calm to ease holiday and post-election stress.
1. Live in faith, not fear
We’re dealing with a lot right now. When we try to endure anxiety, we need to believe that things will work out, thereby softening the “hit” we feel. It may not be what we want or seem desirable, but they will exercise. Remember, we cannot control the outcome, but we can control our response to the situation.
For example, if you’re worried about family members clashing at the holiday table, imagine a world where they don’t. Picture a scene where they get along and enjoy each other’s company. Is this idea “easier”? Wouldn’t that put less pressure on the situation and the outcome?
2. Release worries
If you’re disappointed with the election, worrying about the outcome won’t change the final outcome. Worrying only increases anxiety and affects your outlook.
Have you ever noticed that your daily worries rarely come true? Worry can lead to unhelpful emotions. They need to be identified and discarded. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but practice will help.
3. Acknowledge stressors
The first step to dealing with a stressful life event is to address it head-on. Take a step back and give yourself some time to determine what the source of your stress is.
Many people believe that simply writing down their thoughts can help them deal with these issues. If you’re worried about what the holidays might bring or how the political situation might play out, the best way to address the issue is to acknowledge it in detail.
4. Make a plan
Once you acknowledge the stressor, the way to address the anxiety you’ve identified is to find ways to deal with the stressor. Consider all options and plan ahead.
If you plan to meet a relative who has different political views than you do, you’ll need to make a plan to avoid political issues and prioritize your valuable relationships. Determine how to guide the conversation to avoid all political talk, which can only lead to heightened emotions and stress.
5. Practice self-care
This is the busiest time of the year and you have a lot to do. In the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to neglect self-care. However, in order to function well, you must intersperse ways to feel calm and happy. It’s crucial to prioritize time for yourself. It’s a way to keep your cup full so you can fill someone else’s cup.
We are human and can only tolerate a certain amount of stress. Emphasizing good diet, exercise, sleep, time with close friends, and moments of reflection are crucial. Try starting and ending your day with deep breathing (longer exhalations than inhalations) to help reduce stress. This will keep you calm and peaceful. Adequate self-care will help you speak less emotionally and more of your grounded, centered self.
6. Set boundaries
With so much to do and so many interactions with others, the lines can get blurred. Especially if you’re a people pleaser, saying no can be especially difficult. However, saying “no” while considering the other person can keep your relationship intact.
For example, if your boss wants you to do an extra task, start by saying how you want to help and how important it is to you to be a reliable team member, but explain that you’re just short on time. Set boundaries while letting your boss know that you regret having to say no so you can continue to be in her good graces.
This is a difficult time, which is why what you do to find positivity and peace is more important than ever. Act thoughtfully and thoughtfully. Remember to embrace the lessons we can learn from wise men.
About the author
Dr. Laura Gabayan is a world-renowned physician and research expert. Through her wisdom research project, she interviewed 60 wise adults in North America and defined 8 basic elements of wisdom. She describes her findings in her new book, Common Sense: 8 Scientific Elements of a Meaningful Life (Redwood Press, March 17, 2024). For more information, please visit Smart research project
