“Expressing gratitude without expressing it is like wrapping a gift without delivering it.” ―William Arthur Ward
The holidays often bring us closer to people. Sometimes this intimacy reminds us how much we love each other. Sometimes it reminds us that we drive each other crazy, as families often do.
At its core, Thanksgiving specifically asks us to see people express our deepest gratitude for the gifts they give us. Some gifts are more obvious than others—the kind that come with praise, affection, and genuine respect.
Others push us, stretch us, test us, and make us think about whether we have anything to be grateful for.
There is no denying that some relationships are more challenging than others, but through every relationship we have the opportunity to grow and help others do the same. Every relationship teaches us something about love, trust, tolerance, setting boundaries, taking care of ourselves and each other.
From those who love you, to those who challenge you, to those who support you at work, here’s how to express your gratitude.
Say thank you to those who love you
1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it changed your life.
2. Do something small and thoughtful for them – like cleaning up after Thanksgiving dinner!
3. Give a long, close hug; or, if you know they don’t like hugs, reach out and shake their hand to accommodate their preference and Make them smile.
4. Tell them you are there if they have anything they want to talk about and let them know you have your full attention.
5. Give them something you think they’ll like and let them know specifically why you want them to have it.
6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.
7. Encourage them to try something you know they want to try but haven’t yet done because they’re afraid.
8. Offer to do something you know they don’t like to do, like organizing their closet or mowing their lawn.
9. Compliment them for a talent, skill, or strength that you admire.
10. Look them in the eye and say, “You make the world a better place.”
Show gratitude to people who challenge you
11. Listen fully to what they have to say rather than forming a rebuttal in your head and waiting to speak.
12. Thank them for introducing you to a new way of looking at things, even if you still disagree.
13. Find what you admire about their commitment to their beliefs—even if you don’t adhere to those beliefs.
14. Resist the urge to tell them they are wrong.
15. Re-challenge them to be their best, with love and positive intentions.
16. If they inspire you to step outside your comfort zone, thank them for inspiring you to take risks and let them know how it pays off.
17. Write a blog post about how they helped you see things differently and dedicate it to them.
18. Leverage the lessons this person teaches you during your interactions, whether it’s patience, compassion, or courage.
19. Introduce them to people who can challenge them and help them grow, just like they did for you.
20. Let them know how much you appreciate it when they challenge you in a loving, non-confrontational way—and if they don’t, stay calm and kind when you ask them to keep doing it .
Say thank you to those who serve you
21. Tip more than usual.
22. If they have a tip jar, include a heartfelt thank you note on the coin or bill.
23. Smile when you order or ask for their help. Smiles are contagious, so give one away!
24. If they serve you on a regular basis, acknowledge that they always do something good, such as working efficiently or staying calm under pressure.
25. Show patience even when you are in a hurry.
26. Let their supervisor know they are doing a great job.
27. Keep the workplace clean – for example, in a coffee shop, clearing up in front of a sugar stall.
28. If someone is working in your home or outside, offer to get them a cup of coffee.
29. If you have their contact information, send a thank you email and let them know you just want to say thank you so they don’t need to write back.
30. Leave a review on Yelp praising them and/or recommend them to people you know.
Show gratitude to the people you work with
31. Write a handwritten thank-you note acknowledging what you value about them and their work.
32. If you can, offer to lighten their workload in some way.
33. If you know they are working hard and may not have a chance to grab something, bring them their lunch.
34. If you are hosting a meeting, keep it brief to show them that you appreciate and respect their time.
35. Ask them about their lives instead of always talking about business. This doesn’t mean you need to pry into personal matters; It simply means showing an interest in who they are as people.
36. Maintain a calm, relaxed voice during stressful situations.
37. Give them flowers to brighten their table.
38. Let their boss know how well they did their job and contributed to the company.
39. If they are having a difficult day, listen fully and recognize if they need space to work things out on their own rather than advice or help.
40. Remember, small things can have a big impact!
express gratitude to yourself
41. List the ways you have impressed yourself recently.
42. Treat yourself to something you enjoy, like a pedicure or massage.
43. If someone compliments you, thank them and let them know you are proud of your skill, talent, or accomplishment.
44. Compliment yourself – Say it in front of the mirror, write it in a journal, or write it on a sticky note and put it on the refrigerator.
45. Give yourself some time to enjoy the passion that sometimes you are too busy to engage with.
46. Take inventory of all the good things you have done for others and the world.
47. Write a love letter to yourself. Seriously, start with “Dear Lori” (but insert your own name) and describe all the things you admire about yourself.
48. Give up any conditions on being kind to yourself – This means you will be grateful even if you don’t accomplish or do anything specific.
49. Schedule a date with yourself – an afternoon or evening where it’s all about you.
50. Share your beauty with those around you and know that they are lucky to have you in their lives.
I’m lucky to have you by my side. You make the world a better place!
**UPDATE: Since I wrote this post, I have launched a gratitude journal/coloring book that people seem to really enjoy! If you’re interested, you can learn more here.
About Lori Deschen
Lori Deschene is the founder of Little Buddha. After battling depression, bulimia, PTSD, and toxic shame, she started the website so she could channel her previous pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. She recently created the Breaking the Self-Care Barriers e-course to help people overcome internal barriers to meeting their needs so they can feel their best, do their best, and live their best life. If you’re ready to start thriving rather than just surviving, you can learn more here and get access now.
