“Your body is precious. This is the vehicle you awaken. Treat it with caution.” ~ Buddha
For years, I thought I was healthy. I’m eating what I think is a “balanced” diet, regular exercise (mainly aerobics and HIIT), and I feel like I’m ticking all the boxes for self-care. On the surface, everything seems to be fine. I thought I had figured it out.
But the truth is, I am not actually healthy. I’m stuck in a cycle of restriction and excessive exercise trying to fit my body into a healthy version that doesn’t work for me. I’m punishing my body, not nourishing it. Until I hit a breakthrough point, I finally began to question everything I know about health and well-being.
“Healthy” fantasy
Like most people, I grew up and I was surrounded by food culture. Celebrating thin people, I have been told that my value is related to my appearance. I learned to equate “health” with thinness, and any deviation from that ideal feels like failure.
This mentality has become the driving force in my life. I believe I have to earn my self-worth through extreme exercise and rigid food control. It’s not just about health, it’s about fitting a certain mold. My body became a project that was to mold, shape and control, not something to cultivate and take care of.
I spent a lot of time believing that I was healthy because I kept doing the “right thing” – working hard and eating “clean”. But I didn’t really pay attention to my feelings. Aerobics and a random gym are my top choices and I never took any rest time. The goal is always to burn calories and not feel strong or energetic. I thought the more I exercised, the fewer calories I ate and the healthier I would become.
When it comes to food, I am equally addicted to control. I counted every calories, avoided any “bad” and felt ingrained every time I ate something that wasn’t on my approved food list. I never went out to eat because it gave me too much anxiety. I don’t eat to nourish my body; I’m eating it to control it.
Despite all these so-called “healthy” habits, I was exhausted. Even though I tried my best to cheer for “delicious” food and exercise regularly, I kept bleeding. My body told me something, but I didn’t listen.
Wake up the phone: Realize that I am not really healthy
Once I realize that my body is still unhappy, I still feel unhappy with my body even if I push it to the limit. I finally found myself in a healthy relationship, but I was still trying to make myself as small as possible.
That was when I hit me: I didn’t really take care of my body. I’m trying too hard with exercise and limiting the food I eat, trying to shape it into some version of what I think is “healthy”.
It’s obvious: Health is not about obsessed with burning calories or the little I can eat. It’s about taking care of yourself as a whole, nourishing your body and respecting its signals.
Strength Training: The Authorization I’m Looking for
Once I realized something had to be changed, I decided to shake my daily routine. I switched my cardio time to a plan. I always give the impression that lifting weights makes me bulky, but I realize that is exactly what I’m missing. Not only do I exercise to burn calories or eat to punish myself, but I’m working out and eating to get stronger and take up space.
Strength training has taught me something profound: It’s not about punishing your body to fit some ideals. It’s about building the strength and resilience of the body, which translates into feeling stronger, more confident and energetic. I’m trying to feel strong and capable, not just thin or toned. It has nothing to do with my appearance, it is how I feel in my own skin.
When I started lifting weights, I noticed a huge shift. I feel more capable. I am proud of my progress. Whenever I get stronger, I feel my body fits more. I realize that real health comes from building resilience, not burning.
No punishment for my body
For me, the next big shift is food. I spent a long time treating food like an enemy – avoiding it, limiting it, feeling introverted when I eat something “bad”. But I quickly realized that nourishing my body was not about deprivation. This is to fuel my strength and energy with the right nutrients.
I started to focus on eating foods that make me feel good: healthy fats, lean protein, complex carbs and lots of vegetables. I stopped counting calories and started listening to my body. When I’m hungry, when I’m full, I eat without guinea or shame.
Food becomes a nutritional tool for the first time, not something that can control or punish yourself. I stopped marking food as “good” or “bad” and instead focused on what fueled my workout, gave me energy, and helped me feel the best. Nurturing my body became a form of self-love.
A new understanding of true health
Looking back, I know that true health is not about adapting to a specific mold or following strict rules. This is not about punishing your body with too much cardio or limiting your diet. True health is building a sustainable, balanced lifestyle that allows your body to flourish physically, mentally and emotionally.
When I was obsessed with calories and exhausted myself, I thought I was healthy, but I missed a bigger situation. True health comes from nourishing the body, moving in ways that empower you, and taking care of yourself with kindness and respect.
Practical tips for turning to truly healthy
If you find yourself in a similar cycle of overaction, restricting food and feeling exhausted, here are some tips to help you turn toward a more balanced approach.
1. Focus on strength, not just aerobic exercise.
If you’re stuck with a heart-only routine, try adding two thirty minutes of strength training a week. It doesn’t have to be daunting. Start with weight exercises or dumbbells and gradually increase the challenge as you build strength.
2. Nourish your body.
Transfer your focus from limitations to nutrition. Eat foods that can make you feel energetic and strong – whole foods that can meet your body’s needs such as lean protein, healthy fats and a lot of vegetable.
3. Purposeful movement.
Rather than overuse of cardio, choose the movement that makes you feel good. Strength training, yoga, walking, swimming, and even dancing are great ways to stay active without over-stressing your body.
4. Let go of perfection.
Health is not perfect; it’s about balance. Don’t stress on always eating the “right” food or burning as many calories as possible. Focus on what makes you feel good and sustainable in the long run.
5. Listen to your body.
Your body is your guide. Pay attention to its signal. Eat when hungry, move purposefully, and rest when needed. Trust your body knows what health requires.
6. Let yourself rest.
Rest is as important as exercise. Don’t skip it! Your body needs time to recover and rebuild strength. Let yourself rest and recover without any internal gui.
About Kelly Rubis
Kylee Lubis is a trained dietitian who is passionate about helping people embrace strength and build nourishing, sustainable habits to promote physical and mental health. Through mindful exercise and food choices, she encourages others to reconnect with their bodies and embrace their true health. Want help? The first step is to understand the overview of the massive nutrients you should consume for your target. Catch her free guide here.
