My one-year-old beagle Philly is always stealing socks, trying to eat horse poop on our morning hikes, and is as stubborn as a dome in the summer heat. But I’m so glad this is the dog I chose to adopt six months ago, all thanks to a well of wisdom that deepens with age.
The retriever I really wanted was a newborn puppy, but when I went to sign the papers, he peed on the floor, ran through puddles, and splashed on my legs.
As a young man I would not have hesitated to take him home and threaten my marriage and my carpet. But as a mature adult who looked like he just peed his pants, I stopped the adoption process and found Philly, who was older than the first dog and was house trained.
I tell you this because when you’re on the beat of aging, there’s a lot of terrible news to report, and I’ve done a lot of that. But getting older isn’t all bad. You learn from making stupid decisions and deep regrets throughout your life, and you get wiser and wiser.
Common sense isn’t the only benefit of growing older. Just the other day, I asked my wife if she had any thoughts on this subject, and two things immediately came to mind. Alison says that as you get older, you care less and less about what other people think of you.
totally agree.
Second, Alison says, you have to overcome the fear of missing out, which some people apparently refer to as “FOMO.”
Same thing, but the acronym will suffice. The reason I can say “FOMO” is because speaking your mind is another BOGO (Benefits of Getting Old).
By the way, I should admit that I totally stole the idea for this column, relying on Oscar Wilde’s excuse that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” The Longevity Project publishes a very interesting weekly newsletter called “Three Not-So-Bad Things About Aging and Longevity,” which collects bits and pieces about medical breakthroughs, personal achievements, and more.
To give a few examples:
This newsletter is associated with the Harvard School of Public Health study Focuses on happiness and life satisfaction, meaning and purpose, and close social relationships. The result of the investigation? As the newsletter says: “The older you are, the better off you are, often a lot better.”
Another report said, “As living to 100 becomes increasingly common—by mid-century, the United Nations predicts there will be 3.7 million centenarians worldwide—the idea of a healthy, active centenarian is becoming increasingly common. increasingly normalized.
As with a lot of this type of news, there’s a flip side to the growing ranks of the Century Club, which is that Social Security checks could bounce and the number of annoying drug ads on TV could triple. But the Longevity Project, established five years ago with the Stanford Longevity Center, aims to highlight research and spark conversations that explore all the challenges and opportunities associated with aging.
As for the newsletter, which launched 18 months ago, Longevity Project founder Ken Stern told me the idea was to educate and entertain, and maybe even inspire.
“The most interesting stories are people doing interesting things in chapters two and three,” Stern said. Especially when they find something meaningful to do instead of sitting around and watching their toenails turn yellow.
As an example, Stern cited the story of a retiree named Randy Yamada, the 70-year-old unofficial mayor of the Royal Kunia community northwest of Honolulu, Hawaii, who often visits Cheers. Yamada spends her days taking care of her neighbors, watering their yards and fixing broken things.
“It may not seem entirely fair – these people can live in Cunha, they can have their own community concierge – but overall, it’s a good deal,” the newsletter commented. “It’s great for the neighbors, it’s great for the neighborhood spirit and it’s great for the mayor,” he told Island News. “Looking after his neighbor allows him to age well.”
One of the reasons this newsletter appealed to me is that I have my own mailbag filled with examples of “not so bad things” about aging. For example, quarantine has been called a public health epidemic among older adults, but I will soon be meeting with Rabbi Laura Geller of Los Angeles, who tells me via email about solutions she has been working on . She built what is known as a “virtual village” in a growing national movement, in which seniors look out for each other and find purpose in community causes.
Geller launched ChaivillageLA, which brings together members of Temple Isaiah and Temple Emmanuel, and she uses the same model to connect seniors in the San Fernando Valley and New York. There are dozens of these partnerships in California, and you can find one in your area at VillageMovementCalifornia.org.
Another not-so-bad thing about aging is that birthday parties just get better. This may be because younger family members worry that every candle might be your last, but that’s not a bad thing, even if you don’t have the lung capacity to blow out all of them.
Carlos E. Cortes, professor emeritus of history at the University of California, Riverside, wrote to me that he recently turned 90 and still teaches part-time and goes on three-mile hikes six days a week travel. He also sent out a column he wrote for the American Diversity Report about his 90th anniversary celebration.
“The older I get, the more I hate celebrating my birthday,” Cortez wrote, saying he resisted his daughter’s efforts to throw him a party. She insisted, and the result was a year spent planning an epic celebration that included a book and movie about his life.
“Family has always been important to me. But nothing has meant more than those glorious 366 days (leap years) when I was 89, highlighted by some of the conversations I have had with family and friends over the years. Best conversation ever,” Cortez wrote in his column. “So remember this date, April 6, 2034, when I turn 100.”
That’s one last bit of perspective on something that’s not so bad. It comes from actor Dirk Bullock (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, etc.), whose father Dan played Hoss in Bonanza. Bullock sent me an email about my column about Maury Markov’s multiple life adventures—machinist, appliance repairman, photographer, sculptor, writer—and eventual death at age 110, I asked him if he had any optimistic thoughts about aging.
The Interceptors sent three.
First, maturing: “Like shedding a skin, a sense of certainty and control has given way to a reduction in stress and increased my capacity for patience, empathy, and understanding.”
Secondly, it’s never too late: “I have time…to do things I once considered luxuries…I am playing guitar and my fear of singing in public seems to have disappeared, Like who cares what other people think?
Third, you deserve it, so why not: Take a nap. It’s a simple but so satisfying post-lunch restorative indulgence that I happily surrender to.
I like all three.
Now here’s homework for the rest of you:
In addition to the senior discounts, please send me a good thing or two about aging.
By three o’clock, you can take a nap.
steve.lopez@latimes.com
