I remember him clearly: his toothy smile. His spiky bouffant hairstyle. He has high cheekbones and a clear laugh.
I still remember what I called the boy. strangeness. Fairy. Even worse names.
We attended Anaheim High School in the mid-1990s. I’m a senior and he’s a freshman. He is one of the few current students on campus, which is mostly Latino. He endured ridicule, abuse, and bullying, while often weakening his opponents with harsh insults.
It didn’t stop me and others.
I learned homophobia from macho cousins and a father who was so anti-gay that when my classmates came to our house for my sister’s party, my father banned us from going to the pool for fear of catching something . My idea is that homosexuality is not just an abomination. The mere existence of “them” is a threat to the people I love – Americans, Mexicans, Catholics, good people.
When my best friend Art tells me to examine my biases, I rattle off a bunch of Bible verses—Leviticus this, Genesis that, a lot of Paul. Nothing can convince me that I should stop my dirty behavior, let alone accept gay people as normal people.
An HBO movie changes everything. In Mr. Elder’s biology class, we watched “And the Band Played On,” based on Randy Shilts’ best-selling book about the early days of AIDS. I was disgusted by any sign of same-sex affection and turned away. But this story—about how the Reagan administration and society at large allowed a terrible disease to spread because it first emerged in the gay community—haunts me.
I may think homosexuality is terrible – but an indifferent government that lets people die because of who they are is even worse. A few months later, I apologized to my classmate. I was sincere, but I’ll never forget the understandable disbelief on his face.
I have been trying to atone since then.
I told my brother when he entered fourth grade that he told me when he and his friends played the school game “Queer Smear.” One guy randomly got a tag and someone else threw a football at him. I know it’s not a problem if My brother will join, but when ——Because I also learned this game.
One day, he excitedly came home and reported that he and his friends had finally played Smear the Queer. I explained what the word meant and what the game represented and made him swear not to join.
Professionally, I continue to rail against politicians and groups who seek to strip LGBTQ+ people of their rights and dignity. Today, I have close LGBTQ+ friends and still have heated arguments with loved ones about their latent and overt homophobia.
However, I am an imperfect ally. I can’t undo the hurt I’ve done before, so I’ll remember those dark days to remind myself that I can always do better.
That’s why a recent California Endowment-funded poll conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago for The Times gives me some hope about the long and painful journey toward acceptance of LGBTQ+ people in this country, but also about the work there An in-depth inspection was conducted.
Christians held signs as they gathered to pray and protest the Dodgers’ inclusion of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in their 2023 Pride Night plans at Dodger Stadium.
(Brian Vanderbrugg/Los Angeles Times)
The survey is a continuation of a pioneering 1985 project by The Times that asked people what they thought about homosexuality. The difference between then and now is obvious. At the time, 73 percent believed homosexual relationships were wrong, a New York Times report noted, little changed from a similar Gallup poll in 1973. Is this a recent poll? Only 28% felt this way.
In 1985, 51 percent of respondents believed workplaces should provide protections for homosexuals. Today, that number is 77%. Earlier polls showed that 35% of people “feel uncomfortable with homosexuality”. This time, the question wasn’t even asked.
A study published in The Times in 1985 was not accompanied by photos or commentary. This time, we published our findings alongside touching articles from my current and former LGBTQ+ colleagues. This poll and article are part of the Our Coolest Century project, which is available on our website and will be printed as a special section on June 23.
These surveys show that beliefs do change over time and exposure. However, while acceptance of gays and lesbians has grown today, new intolerance has also emerged. The 1985 poll did not ask about transgender people. The Times/NORC poll does that — and the results are dismal.
More than one-third said they would feel very or somewhat uncomfortable if their children disclosed that they were gay (in 1985, this figure was 89%). But if the child is transgender or non-binary, this number increases to 48%. When it comes to getting people to “[live] Only 19% “strongly or somewhat disapprove” if the person is gay. Trans or non-binary? 31%.
More telling is whether more media and political attention on trans and non-binary people is a good or a bad thing. Only 16% thought it was good, while 40% thought it was bad (42% answered “neither”).
Not surprisingly, this poll shows that politics and religion are related to people’s views on LGBTQ+ issues. But I also feel like a lack of familiarity plays a big role. While 72% of U.S. adults in the Times/NORC survey said they know someone who identifies as gay or lesbian, only 27% said the same about transgender or nonbinary people. When you come to Jesus with someone you have been taught to see as “different,” you quickly realize how foolish you are.
Case in point: me again.
Ten years after my disgraceful behavior toward an Anaheim High School classmate, I read a powerful column written by Times sportswriter Mike Penner, who revealed that he would be playing the role of Chris Christine Daniels returns from vacation.
“I am a transgender sportswriter,” Penner wrote. “It took me more than forty years, a million tears, and hundreds of hours of painful therapy to muster the courage to write these words.”
I was so moved that I wrote a thank you letter through a mutual friend. To my surprise and delight, Daniels wanted to meet with me to talk about coping with sudden fame. I was working at OC Weekly at the time, and the Times featured me and my column “Ask the Mexican!” which attracted overwhelming attention.
I was nervous, and not just because I was meeting an author whose work I had always admired. I didn’t know anyone who identified as transgender and worried that I might offend Daniels by asking inappropriate questions or using the wrong name or pronouns.
United Universal Pictures security guards Gregory Winfrey, left, and Benedicto Banachea raise a Pride flag at the Kenneth Hahn Executive Hall in downtown Los Angeles in 2023.
(Gary Coronado/Los Angeles Times)
At a panini shop in Old Towne Orange, Daniels quickly dismissed my low-key transphobia. I find myself focused on the person in front of me: kindness. funny. outstanding. Happy. In the Weekly, I continued to proudly rail against the ghouls who mocked Daniels, until the sad day in 2009, when Mike Penner died by suicide, and he revived it in The Times This signature.
Today, city councils reject calls to fly the rainbow flag during Pride Month, school boards ban books and curriculum with any LGBTQ+ content, and adults protest drag time story times in the name of protecting children while mocking the rise of drag queens Insult turns into decoration girl.
I asked Bamby Salcedo, president and CEO of the TransLatin@ Coalition, about the best ways to change closed hearts and minds.
It’s not about “conducting training or examining DEI frameworks,” referring to diversity, equity and inclusion; it’s about having hard conversations from a place of love, she said, “because hate won’t win.”
Salcedo said that viscerally resisting someone’s anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes can “quench the seeds of change.” if you plant it, Harvested [the harvest comes]”.
I remind myself that people can change—those who have experienced the Road to Damascus must urge others to follow our path.
After all, the most avoidable sin is ignorance, and all sinners must repent. Take it from one place.
