If I were a relative or close friend of President Biden, I’m pretty sure I would hug him, thank him for his service, and tell him to seriously consider leaving.
I would tell him that after a lifetime of service, he can pass the torch with pride, dignity, and grace.
Someone probably should have done this months ago, out of love or duty, and out of concern that Biden’s health might deteriorate in the coming years.
But we’re not very good at this kind of thing—not at summoning the courage to confront a loved one or boss who’s going downhill and being completely honest about it. Be polite but firm. It was hard for me to tell my own father that it was time to give up driving. He refused, unaware or unwilling to accept the reality that he was visibly shaking behind the wheel, and unwilling to hand over his keys or his pride.
California is about to be hit by an aging population wave, and Steve Lopez is riding the wave. His column focuses on the blessings and burdens of aging and how some people challenge the stigma associated with older age.
In many ways, those close to Biden are aware of his decline but are not forcing him to step down. The New York Times reported on Tuesday that in the “weeks and months” leading up to last Thursday’s presidential debate, “several current and former officials and others who met with him behind closed doors noticed he appeared increasingly confused. Or listless or losing track, there were also reports of people encouraging him to keep going.
There are some parallels to California Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who died last year at age 90 after more than 30 years in office. If there were any attempts by the inner circle to persuade her to leave the Senate due to her apparent cognitive and physical decline, that effort failed. She died in office after announcing she would no longer run.
In some cases, stepping aside is the right thing to do.
For those of you who have followed my Golden State Warriors column over the past 28 months, this may sound strange. One of my driving principles is a strong rejection of the notion that as we age we are unable to contribute, or that our value diminishes.
In a recent column, I argued with the help of experts that you can’t diagnose dementia from a distance, although many have tried to do so in Biden’s case, especially after his debate performance.
I’ve also written that, whatever the reason for his blurred vision and occasional meandering phrases (the medical possibilities are many), Biden seemed disoriented and unsteady. He may still have some gas in the tank, but time is not on his side. What will happen to him in one year, two years, three or four years?
The world’s population is aging rapidly, with more and more people working longer hours – and while the benefits are many, the risks are also real. Physically and mentally broken. When they do, they can quit and move on.
Since this debate, I’ve been thinking about something USC gerontology professor Carolyn Cicero said to me last year when I wrote about whether Biden or Feinstein should step down.
“I’m very concerned about ageism in the workplace, but I’m also concerned about people who think they have to work forever,” Cicero said. “I think what we need to do is allow people to retire.”
She started thinking about it this week.
“In recent decades, society has told us that we can have it all. In the fight against ageism, we’ve told people they can work as long as they want,” she said. “In a battle to prove ourselves, we tell ourselves that we can overcome the normal slowdown that occurs over time.”
But most of us can’t.
Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney are both still in good shape at 80, and Warren Buffett, at 93, seems to be in good shape too. Not bad. But that’s the thing about aging, as I said before: you can be old at 60 and young at 85.
Biden has clear advantages, chief among them experience, wisdom, decency, courtesy and empathy after suffering a terrible loss. Perhaps those in his inner circle know what he is made of and cannot question his strength and determination even in the face of apparent decline. Of course, his family knew him better than we did, but maybe they didn’t see what we saw from a distance.
Some of you may be thinking now, if I just want to have a frank discussion about when it’s time to leave, then why don’t I involve the Trump family.
I do, but their task is harder than the Biden family’s. What’s the point of saying, “Hey, Dad, the fact-checkers are still recovering from the training you gave them in the last debate” to a convicted felon who continues to insist that he won the 2020 election? It takes a little humility to see the truth about yourself, and when you start listing Donald Trump’s qualities, humility and honesty don’t cut it.
Former President Trump, who debated Biden last week, was even more reluctant to listen to any suggestions that he withdraw from the race.
(Gerald Herbert/AP)
It may be difficult for Biden to see himself as anything other than what he is now — a public servant at the top of the flow chart. You can’t become President of the United States without a healthy sense of self, and in jobs that people love—that become their identity—they often can’t imagine what or who they will be in retirement, if only they could afford it Retirement is something many people cannot do.
These people may not imagine that anyone waiting in the wings could be as up to the task as they are, and perhaps this is part of Biden’s calculation. If he takes the next exit, who will take his place? Will Vice President Kamala Harris or any other potential last-minute candidate have enough time to find traction?
Things shouldn’t have come to this.
The late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is our example of the cost of stubborn persistence. Women’s reproductive rights suffered a blow when she refused to give up her position as her health deteriorated.
“I see this with entrepreneurs, they build a business and have a hard time letting it go,” says Helen Dennis, who founded a support group called Renewment 25 years ago that brings together The words “renew” and “retirement” are combined to serve successful women who are facing difficulties. The group now includes “teachers, nurses, doctors and several lawyers” who lean on each other as they learn “how to start the next chapter.”
Cicero of the University of Southern California once said to me that work is not life and life is not work. This is certainly an alien concept to a sitting president, but I think former President Jimmy Carter is one of the best examples of someone who finds a way to contribute after leaving office. He picked up a hammer, went to work for Habitat for Humanity, and won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to peacefully resolve world conflicts.
“People are often afraid of retirement because they don’t want to be labeled old, invisible or unimportant,” Cicero said. She added that many “people addicted to routine don’t know how they would spend their time without a rigid work schedule” — but that “doesn’t mean they need to keep working to live a satisfying later life.” “
Biden, who was quickly back on the stump after his debate defeat, told supporters that when you get knocked down, you get up and keep fighting.
But as they say, Father Time is undefeated.
I want to remind Biden that there are problems in this country and in the world that neither he nor Trump can solve, and that if he is re-elected, he will be subject to ruthless judgments about his fitness for public office in four years.
I would tell him, at 81, when you get knocked down, you deserve a break.
There is nothing shameful about this.
steve.lopez@latimes.com
