Dads in football: Paternity leave taboos and the impact on careers of players choosing to take time off | Football News

Blackburn forward Sam Smodic rushed from the delivery room to Ewood Park just hours after the birth of his second child in February, after drinking four cups of black coffee after only three hours of sleep.

His dash from the hospital to the pitch and into the starting XI during the Championship clash with Norwich City was cheered on by fans on social media, with his manager John Eustace saying after the game ended in a 1-1 draw. Si mentioned the striker in particular.

“I think it’s important that we send a special message to Sami Smodic as well,” he said. “His wife had the baby this morning and he was in the hospital at 2am last night and didn’t sleep well. He showed up at the 2pm kick-off and said he was ready. His performance today was fantastic.”

Smodic isn’t the first footballer to take part in a match just hours after witnessing the birth of a newborn, and he won’t be the last.

Stories of being flown by helicopter from hospital wards to games across the country (think Leeds United’s Dan James in 2021 and Norwich City’s Russell Martin in 2015) make for great stories, but also raise a Question: Why is paternity leave rarely taken or discussed in elite men’s football?

“It’s a taboo subject,” Norwich defender Ben Gibson told Sky Sports. father of football series.

“The players are just hoping to get on with it and get back to training in the next day or two.”

Clubs can and do grant parental leave at the player’s request. However, in the competitive world of football, professional players do so fearing the impact it will have on their standing within the team.

“In football you’re constantly fighting. Whether it’s to win your place or keep your place,” Gibson’s Norwich side will play in the Championship play-off semi-final opener at Carrow Road on Sunday. against Leeds United in the round match.

“What if your team makes very successful progress while you’re on paternity leave? Then you may find yourself unable to return to the team, which may take a while.

“As long as everything is okay [with the birth], your partner is great, your baby and your family are great, they’re all supportive, there’s no reason why you can’t get back into it. My situation is a bit complicated but I do often wonder what it would be like if it were the other way around as I’m not sure my partner would want me rushed straight out of the hospital! Every situation is different.

The PFA also said the amount of time each player will take off will vary, with a spokesman telling Sky Sports: “The decision to take paternity leave will vary depending on a player’s unique personal circumstances. However, it is important for players to take paternity leave It is important to know that they have a statutory right to a period of paid paternity leave if they wish.

Smodidge, who played against Gibson just hours after the birth of daughter Nellie, discussed the knock-on effects missing a game could have as he reflected on the arrival of his eldest son, Winter, while still in Peterborough.

“The delivery process was a bit painful, she [Winter] First week of hospitalization.I decided not to leave her side and I would do the same thing to Nellie [his second daughter] If there are any questions,” said Smodic, who is the Championship’s top scorer with 27 goals, including two against champions Leicester City on the final day of the season.

“Football is the least important thing when it comes to family and having children,” he added. “I was playing in the Championship at Peterborough and we needed to win games and I missed a great game at Derby County.

“I watched the film when I was in hospital and it’s tough because you want to play in these games. You do think you’re going to lose your place and that’s what football is about. If you’re out for a period of time in a game, there’s someone who can Come in, perform well and score runs and you’ll lose your spot, but you can’t really worry about that when it comes to labor or things you can’t control.

‘Wagner put me and my family before him and his work’

Gibson also emphasized the family-first message when discussing the arrival of his second child, Miley.

“I was supposed to be traveling with the team and be fit and available for Boxing Day, which meant leaving on Christmas Day and spending the night in a hotel,” Gibson said.

“I wasn’t really ready to leave my family at the time, I was just really worried about my partner. Manager [David Wagner] He pulled me aside and I had been hesitant about meeting him all week and luckily he made the decision for me, which I think was always the best way to pull off the scene.

“He said ‘Look, I’ve been thinking about something and I think you should stay home with your family and I don’t think it’s right to take you away’. I will never forget how he stayed with me and it will Being with me for a long time, he put me and my family before him and his work.

The support extends to the entire club, with the chef baking a cake for Gibson to take to hospital on Christmas Day and other staff offering to help look after their youngest son, who has just turned one and is asked “a hundred times a year” .

Meanwhile, head of first-team operations Jonny Martin was the first to break the news to Gibson off the pitch after Norwich’s New Year’s Day game against Southampton that he needed to call his partner urgently.

Miley stopped breathing multiple times throughout the game, and his partner, Ashley, didn’t want to bother Gibson with a phone call during the game.

“I always say to my partner, look at any concerns, any questions, even the smallest things, our family is so much more important than any job, and that’s the same for anyone,” Gibson said. “I know that may not always be what the fans want to hear and I obviously really care about the club and football, but my family always comes first.”

Only now, with Miley at home happy and healthy, has Gibson been able to reflect on the traumatic weeks, while also highlighting how football provided an outlet, a sense of “normality” and a distraction as her daughter fought for her life. .

“You don’t know how long your baby is going to be in the hospital, so you have to try to find some kind of normalcy.” She [Mylie] Could have been there for months. Unfortunately, some babies stay in the ICU for months. We were there for 44 days and you have to find a sense of normalcy.

That sense of familiarity and routine was also what motivated Smodic when he burst onto the scene at Blackburn earlier this season.

“I’ve been at the hospital since 2 a.m.. I’ve been resting for about three hours, but luckily the baby arrived happy and healthy. When it calms down, your emotions are at their peak,” said the Republic of Ireland striker.

“On the way from the hospital to the game, I remember calling my agent and he was laughing thinking back on it, it was a crazy decision. I was sprinting the first few minutes of the game and realized I was racing on adrenaline, Because I was absolutely exhausted.

As the saying goes, football is more important than life and death, but for family, there is almost an exception.

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