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A new job, a new apartment, or a new relationship can be exciting. But this shine fades after a while. And it all seemed a little bland.
Tali Sharot, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London and MIT, says there’s a term for this phenomenon: habituation. This is “the tendency for us to respond less and less to things that are repeated or sustained.”
Its evolutionary purpose is to help us adapt to our surroundings so that we can remain highly alert to new threats. But it can also harm our creativity and affect our levels of stress and happiness.
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So how do we make our lives sparkle again? In a new book, “Look Again: The Power of Noticing What’s Always There,” Charlotte and her colleague Cass R. Sunstein, a professor at Harvard Law School and an expert in behavioral economics, discuss how to DisHabit. That means making changes “that allow us to feel joy again from the same things around us,” Shalott said.
Sharot talks to Life Kit about how to break up your routine, get out of the rut and rejuvenate your life. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
In your book, you mention An episode of The Twilight Zone. In it, a con man was killed during a robbery. In the afterlife, he has unlimited access to money, cars, and women. This was fine at first, but eventually he wasn’t happy. Surprisingly, you find him in hell. What lessons can we learn from this?
The main takeaway here is that even the great things in your life won’t excite you that much if they persist. They won’t bring you as much happiness.
I worked for a travel company that wanted to know when people were happiest on vacation. We went to different resorts and surveyed people. We find that the happiest day of the holiday is 43 hours long. After that, happiness began to slowly decline. People are still happy on days 5, 6, 7, and 8, but not as happy as on day 2.
This is what happened in that episode fringe areas. The con man has everything he thinks he wants. But it’s not as good as Day 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and Day 1..
Do certain groups of people get used to it more easily than others?
One thing we think might be important is age. There is a well-known “U” shape of happiness in life, with happiness being relatively high in teenagers and children; then it drops, drops, drops, reaching an average nadir in middle age. Then it started rising again.
So why do we hit such a low point in middle age? One reason is that we have a lot in common. Middle age is a time when most of us are in the same situation for a long time: maybe [staying] Staying in the same place, doing the same job, and with the same partners for a long time.
These things can be good. But people often get a little frustrated if you stay in this position for a long time and don’t make progress. Because what people like to do is see themselves improving.
What steps should you take if you’re stuck in a colorless gray dilemma?
Take a break from the good stuff. Remove yourself from that environment or situation for a while—and then come back. You’ll be better able to notice cool things. For example, people who travel for business often find that when they return, they suddenly appreciate the comfort of their home, their loved ones, and the scenery outside their windows.
You can also take a mental break. Close your eyes and imagine your house without you, your family without you, your job without you. Try to imagine it vividly and in detail. When you open your eyes again, there is something unaccustomed to you, this feeling of gratitude.
Don’t ignore diversity. It puts you in a learning state. This could be something big, like moving to another location or taking a new job. But it could also be something smaller, like learning a new skill. Learning is the one thing that can truly bring people the greatest happiness.
The changes you’re talking about here are experiential. You can’t pay your way out of trouble, right?
If you buy a new car, a suit of clothes, a cell phone or something else, you tend to get used to it quickly. But when it comes to experiences, such as a concert, a lecture, or a night out, if the experience was good, you tend to recall it in your mind from time to time, and there’s still quite a bit of joy associated with it. This is one reason why many studies show that experiences bring you more happiness than material things.
Aside from bringing joy back into your life, are there any other benefits to getting used to?
One study shows that people become better at problem-solving after they move from one country to another for a short period of time. Probably because everything was new: the language, the way things looked, the people, everything was new. Their brains “turn on” in a different mode, one that takes in messages and thinks about things differently. So they get better at solving problems.
Another interesting study shows that if you change your environment in a very simple way—such as leaving the office to work in the kitchen or coffee shop, or going for a walk—you become more creative. Now, the creativity boost from just changing the environment only lasts about six minutes. However, those six minutes can be very important. That could be the big aha moment. So this is definitely something I recommend doing on any workday. Don’t just sit in the same place – try changing your environment a little.
Digital story edited by Malaka Gharib. Visual editor is Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Please leave us a message at 202-216-9823 or email LifeKit@npr.org.
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