It’s official: Tesla put a ring on it. The company’s shareholders awarded CEO Elon Musk $46 billion in stock grants, a request Musk made to keep Tesla off its pedestal.
Now, $46 billion is a very large amount for anyone, let alone someone whose stock price has dropped so much since January that the award itself lost $10 billion (when a judge blocked a decision that included Unusual payment for a board of directors that includes the Musk family).
Fortunately, Tesla provides an easy way to visualize it. The company just paid Elon Musk $1 million for each of the 46,561 new cars and unsold Teslas in the company’s inventory in the first quarter of 2024, a record pile for the company, which currently has Many parking lots are full of cars.
Musk reportedly abruptly fired the entire Tesla Supercharger team as a result
The stock awards also amount to $12 million for every Cybertruck sold from the time the vehicle was launched through April, as well as for every Cybertruck that had to be recalled because the pedal on the accelerator started flying out. Currently, it costs $153 million for each Cybertruck owner trying to unload the metal elephant on the Internet (about 5% of existing Cybertrucks are currently on the second-hand market).
At the Tesla shareholder meeting, Musk said many times that if sales are not enough, he will dig a grave for Tesla. This doesn’t. The closest Musk has come to acknowledging that Cybertrucks have become a national joke is this bizarre defensive remark: “If you want to know if Cybertrucks are cool, ask a kid. Kids don’t have a filter, right?”
Mix and match speed of light
That’s really Musk’s argument: Because kids might be surprised by a car that looks like it was designed by a 12-year-old, so should the adults who actually buy the car. Put your $46 billion to good use, Tesla shareholders!
Additionally, it reinforces the idea that Tesla is unfriendly to Democratic voters who make up the majority of Tesla’s customer base. Giving $46 billion to the man who revived and promoted Nazism on Twitter while silencing dissent sounds, to that customer base, like putting Musk’s brother and Rupert Murdoch’s son back on the board Just as good an idea. (Tesla just did this too.)
But in the Tesla bubble of shareholder meetings, no dissent can be heard, it’s almost like a cult. Musk muttered unplanned remarks, his silence increasingly alarming to neutral listeners, but every word he finished was greeted with cheers. During the Q&A, the first questioner simply praised Musk for “all he has done for the First Amendment.” Presumably he was not referring to the repeated censorship and banning of journalists.
Like any good cult leader, Musk is performing to his audience. Rather than return to the vague promise of a $25,000 Tesla electric car that excited analysts on the last earnings call, Musk simply listed every current Tesla product and then explained its How revenue is going to soar and then reiterate that it’s not going to be easy. We’re convinced that the robot Optimus Prime could potentially create a $1 trillion business.
There is no explanation of how Musk obtained his data. But there is one number on which his accuracy is impeccable.
“It’s 4:20 p.m.. I just noticed this,” Musk chuckled, before falling into an uncomfortable silence. “So, uh. Yeah. Yeah.”
Congratulations to Tesla shareholders. I hope you are very happy with this very mature, very intelligent adult.
