“We are happy with the beauty of butterflies, but rarely admit that it has achieved the changes in this beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou
What if you want to do your best?
Over the years, I have wearing a mask-I think everyone expects professionals, creation, and has always been in my own version.
I need to please and perform deeply in my earliest experience. I was born for three months, and I also called my survival a miracle. I separated from my mother and placed in an incubator for a few weeks. I was surrounded by love, but was deprived of touch and contact.
Although my parents worship me, this experience lays the foundation for a limited belief, that is, I must prove that I want to win love. Then, in the later period of life, my motivation “enough” made me abandon my emotions, but supported others.
I think that if I can maintain a fast speed-work harder, more existence, and it seems more composition, then my feeling will eventually solve. But the fact is that whenever I try to avoid them, my emotions will become louder and longer. They did not disappear-they were established, and each layer increased my physical tension, stiffness and discomfort.
I can feel it on my chest-tightness will not disappear. On my shoulders, the weight of the emotion I refused to admit was painful. My body told me something, but I didn’t listen. I’m too busy keeping images that I think the world needs to see. However, I more and more restrained my emotions, and the more they can control me, the more manifested as pressure, anxiety and physical discomfort.
It didn’t start to change until I realized that I didn’t need to continue to promote my feelings. The fact is that trying to surpass my emotions will only exhaust me. What I need is to face them, feel them, and let them pass my original intention.
The trap of emotional suppression
It took me many years to try to show strong and convince myself. My vulnerability will make me weak. If I show any emotions except calm and calm, I will be judged. But in fact, emotional suppression of losses to me is much larger than what I realize. When I penetrate my feelings into the subconscious, they have not disappeared. They ulcerated.
A vivid moment is when a close friend opens to me about a deeper personal struggle. Although I want to be full for her, her vulnerability aroused my inner unsolved emotions, and she remembered the similar experience I had not yet dealt with.
I did not admit my feelings or share my stories. Instead, I chose to hide behind comfortable characters, provide support, and at the same time put my emotions in trouble. On the outside, I seem to be a caring friend, but in it, I feel a sense of overwhelming disconnection. My silence caused a wall, so that I wasolated and robbed the two opportunities for mutual support and deeper bonds.
Another time, I had a difficult conversation with a colleague at work. Their criticism was deeply tingling, but I did not admit my harm or advocated for myself, but smiled and assured them that everything was good.
I am convinced that avoiding conflict is the right choice. But those unprepared emotions wandered, and they were manifested with nervousness and resentment after a long time after the conversation. Suppressing my feelings does not maintain peace; it only causes internal turmoil.
I started to feel disconnected from myself-my true self. The tension in my body is the physical expression of disconnecting the connection. The more emotional I have, the farther my true identity with me. The pressure is being established, just like a pot on the stove, I can feel the inevitable explosion and wait.
Emotion is a messenger, not an enemy
In the process, one of the most powerful lessons I learned is that emotions are not the enemy I make them. They are not destroying me here. They are just messengers.
When I was angry, it was not because I was broken. It was my body that I told me that something was wrong-my boundaries were crossing, or my needs were not met.
When I feel sad, it shows that I am sad or changed.
The appearance of fear was to remind me that I was facing the unknown person and urged me to believe in and embrace uncertainty.
The key to emotional freedom is to realize that emotions are not “good” or “bad”. They are just. They are part of our human experience, and everyone has important information. When we let ourselves feel them fully, we stop marking them as threats or obstacles. We are open to their wisdom and guidance.
Power that fully feels
At first, I felt that my emotions were completely uncomfortable and even painful. I’m not used to encountering discomfort caused by vulnerability. But I have been showing myself, making a decision to stop resisting and deeply feel frustrated. Over time, I realized that just like a storm, there was a beginning and ending of emotions. When I stopped fighting, they passed much faster than I thought.
Make yourself feel uncomfortable for a moment. This is about embracing your sadness, joy, anger or fear, without having to try to change them. You no longer try to solve your emotions, but just make them reality.
This does not mean that your feelings may consume you. Instead, this is to allow yourself to fully experience them without having to change or judge their pressure. Embracing your emotions by curiosity and open emotions, you can release their control of you. The beauty of this process is temporary, and they will not continue forever. However, the freedom and peace that allows them to flow.
Reflect your emotions
When I continue to practice my emotions, I find that one of the most powerful ways to do this is to reflect. I started to pay attention to the performance of my emotions in the body. When I was anxious, do my chest have a tight atmosphere? When I am scared, is my stomach heavy? When I feel joy, my face is warm?
By focusing on these physical feelings, I can surpass the psychological story I said. I can feel the emotion itself, not analyzing or trying to push it away. I learned how to breathe through discomfort and how to sit down until it passed. In this way, I can release the trapped emotions and provide space for rehabilitation.
It seems that once my body stops trying to control it, my body knows exactly what to do. I just need to stop thinking and start to feel.
Let go of emotional attachment
For me, one of the most difficult lessons is to understand that my emotions do not mean to catch them. It feels different from their feelings and identification between them. I spent a lot of time linked my emotions with my identity-to restrain my emotions-I forgot that emotions are temporary visitors. They are here, they are gone.
When I stopped each emotion myself, I started to experience greater emotional freedom. I learned to release the grip that I once defined. I did not let them decide my life, but learned to feel them and let them pass. This is a liberation experience.
Benefit of emotional freedom
Once I accept the practice of fully feeling emotion, my life will have a profound change. I am no longer anxious, pressure or fear. On the contrary, I feel peaceful and understanding in my heart. Emotional freedom means that I can no longer fight with myself and me.
This change brought several benefits I did not expect:
- Improve self -awareness: I felt my emotions helped me re -establish my desire, values and needs. I stopped the second guess and started to trust my intuition more.
- Improving interpersonal relationship: When I stop hiding my feelings, I allow myself to build a more real and meaningful connection with others.
- Increase elasticity: The more I practice, the greater my emotions, the stronger I become. I realize that emotions are temporary, and I can pass them through them without letting them consume me.
Final idea
If I hope I know one thing earlier, it is not to be afraid of emotions. They are powerful, changeable, and ultimately the key to emotional freedom. When we make ourselves fully feel our emotions (without the need to judge without fear), we will get rid of our control.
I encourage you to face them with courage and sympathy, rather than escape your emotions. You may find it like me. By releasing the old suppression mode, you can open your life and connect with a peaceful life towards a greater authenticity.
About Miriam Herten
Miriam is a certified business and coach. She is keen to help women release their inner power through emotional consciousness and embodiment. After years of personal growth, she now has instructed women to establish a connection with her emotions and intuition so that they can flourish in life and business. She believes that the consistency of the actions with the goals of our soul not only changed what we did, but also the most important thing is who we are. Get a free guide on miriamherten.com.
