Just one year ago today, I gave up drinking. No prosecco, no wine, no cider, no cocktails, zip, nada, zero alcohol has touched these lips for a whole year. I don’t know how long you have to be alcohol-free before you’re officially classified as a non-drinker, but in my mind, after a year of not drinking, I feel as though I’ve fully embraced the alcohol-free life, and I’m eager to continue.
Don’t worry, I haven’t turned into a manic alcohol-free evangelist who believes everyone who drinks is a bad person. I’m certainly not going to be out all night preaching about the benefits of alcohol-free living and rolling my eyes when people come in for another round and I’m only halfway through my first round. This blog post isn’t about all the ways drinking is bad for you, because you already know that, right?
It’s not that I “changed” you or that I’m any more smug or holier than you. Honestly, I don’t mind people drinking. As I always say, you be yourself. But what I want to share with you is my story. Because I know some people want to try to stop drinking, I hope that by sharing my experience of being sober for a year, it will be helpful to you if you decide to stop drinking.
Why I decided to quit drinking
I’m a fairly average 40-something year old woman. A married mom of two teenage kids, runs her own business from home, enjoys nights out as well as staying home at night, exercises regularly to stay in top shape, and eats healthy enough to stay happy and healthy , and going through the rollercoaster of perimenopause.
Until a year ago, I was a typical casual drinker. I’ll have a drink after a hard day, I’ll have a drink on a Friday night (because well, it’s Friday) and if I’m out with friends, of course I’ll drink a lot (I mean what is a night out, not drinking, Right? On average, though, without a night out, I probably consume 9 units of alcohol per week (about a bottle of wine), which is well below the 14 units recommended for women. So, I definitely do. Not an alcoholic.
I started noticing that when I drank, even just one glass of wine, I would feel terrible the next morning. My anxiety levels have increased due to perimenopause, thankfully hormone replacement therapy has helped, but there is no doubt that alcohol has not helped. If I do have a nice night out, the hangover lasts more than a day, sometimes taking 2 days to fully recover, and sometimes even 3 or 4 days before I can get back to my normal, energetic self.
All of this was running through my head, so I began to naturally cut down on my drinking. But it wasn’t until a conversation I had while walking my dog with a friend that I began to consider quitting drinking for good.
Start an alcohol-free life
My friend told me that she was listening to a book called The Alcohol Experiment, written by Annie Grace, which offered a 30-day plan for looking at alcohol differently . She’s been following it for about two weeks and it sounds absolutely fascinating, so I think you know what to make us do. I ordered a hard copy of this book because I’m such a traditionalist and waited patiently for it to arrive, eager to get started.
Now, when I start something, I stick to it. Call it stubbornness, call it tenacity, call it whatever you want, but if I’m faced with a challenge, I’m going to rise to it. Because I’m a blogger, of course I talk about it on social media, that’s what I do, it’s my DNA that I share with the world. So when I put something out there, I’m more likely to stick with it because the girl is less likely to fail.
This book was a huge part of my sobriety journey and completely changed my entire mindset about alcohol. I’ve given up drinking before, doing the entire Alcohol Free Month thing or just taking a break here and there during the month, and of course I didn’t drink during either pregnancy. But always after a break, I think oh, done, and start again. I didn’t stop to think about why I drank, whether I actually enjoyed it, and how we might be more addicted to it than we realize. This book changes that.
It is divided into 30 chapters, read one chapter every day. What I love about it is that it’s never preachy. It tells you the facts and then it’s up to you to decide. On the back of the book it describes this perfectly:
your body.
your thoughts.
Your choice.
Oh my gosh, it helped me understand myself and my relationship with alcohol, which is something I had never considered before. I faced the fact that I used alcohol as a social crutch, something to hold in my hand when I felt nervous, a means to feel more confident when talking in a large group, A way to fit in with others. Going out for drinks at night is a way to calm my nerves and make me feel more relaxed, which I think makes me more interesting because it gives me the confidence to speak, dance, sing, act silly, and do things more openly. All the things we would laugh about the next day.
Plus there’s the whole habitual, ritualistic thing. Christmas, birthdays, parties, nights out, family BBQs, relaxing after a hard day, working lunches, holidays…the list goes on and we have been taught by society to believe that for fun and for To blend in with the others, we had to have a drink. How can we possibly enjoy these things without a cheeky thing or two?
Do I ever have moments where I miss alcohol?
I can literally count the times when I feel like I’m missing out because I didn’t drink. It was at a Christmas party organized by the running group I belonged to. I felt really good about the whole not drinking thing and even planned ahead and brought my own bottle of non-alcoholic soda to drink there secretly since I wasn’t sure if the bar had a lot of options. But when I arrived they gave me a free glass of prosecco as a welcome drink, leaving no choice for those of us who don’t drink. It’s not that I wanted Prosecco, it was more that I just wanted to feel like I was part of the group, I didn’t stand out in any way, I wasn’t different. So, for a moment, I considered having a drink to make myself feel better. But I didn’t. I resisted. Guess what? After a few seconds, I got over these feelings, poured myself a drink, and chatted happily with my friends.
I stopped drinking at Christmas, New Year’s Eve, on trips, during the summer, at birthday parties, on nights out, and this year I came full circle and experienced all the situations where I would normally drink. All alcohol-free. I used to think alcohol made me funny, now I know I’m funnier without it. I can still have a good night. I can still get up and dance at parties. I can still interact and talk to people. If anything, not drinking has made me more confident. I had just as much fun, if not more. I dance better (or at least I have better control of my movements!). I can literally have better conversations with people because a) I’m actually listening, and b) I can talk without slurring, see them without squinting, and speak without repeating themselves.
all is well. I’ve found non-alcoholic alternatives – Crodino is an amazing Aperol Spritz alternative, Wild Idol is perfect for those very special occasions, CleanCo has an amazing non-alcoholic rhubarb gin, Pairs really well with Fevertree Ginger Ale and honestly I’d be just as happy with a glass of cider or a glass of tonic water or even some sparkling water. Because now I know that’s not all What I’m drinking. The drinking part is completely secondary. Now, I am showing up for people, experiences, events, atmospheres, and moments. The contents of my cup meant nothing to me anymore. Let me tell you, this is the most powerful and freeing feeling ever!
One year alcohol-free…what’s next?
I’m sleeping better, I’m no longer hungover, my skin is clearer and brighter, and I feel in control of myself and my emotions. Living sober has been great for me and to be honest I don’t find it all that difficult. Of course, not nearly as much as I thought. In fact, it wasn’t even on my radar. I’m just a guy who doesn’t drink anymore.
When I first started I stopped drinking for a while but who knows I might enjoy it in the future and that’s okay, never say never such a thing. I told myself that my goal was to be a year, longer than I was pregnant, and fully experience what it was like to live every special occasion without drinking. As time goes by, I miss it less and less. So much so that now, just the smell of it makes me sneer. I don’t miss the smell of it, I don’t miss the social rituals of it, I don’t miss any part of it at all.
I’ve been doing this for a year…what now? I officially call myself a sober drinker, I have no intention of ever drinking again and I’m very happy with that decision. Well, I did tell you I was stubborn!
Have you ever thought about quitting drinking?
Thank you so much for reading my posts, it always means the world. Now it’s time to hear from you. I’d love to know your thoughts on alcohol and drinking habits.
Would you like to live an alcohol-free life? Do you feel like your drinking is getting a little out of control? Do you question why you drink? Or are you just curious and want to explore more about sobriety?
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About the author
Becky Stafferton is a full-time content creator, online publisher, and blogging coach. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to live a healthy life. When she’s not writing, you can find her running around in muddy puddles, making lists, making good old moaning sounds, talking to her dog in a funny voice, renovating her house in the country, and teaching others how to Make money with your blog.
