How I created a great life on the other side of burnout

“If you don’t‘Without giving your mind and body a break, you will break down. Stop subjecting yourself to pain and exhaustion and take care of your own needs.“ Lori Decheny

For forty-five minutes, I lay on my yoga mat in child’s pose, unable to move.

The physical fatigue felt like a thousand pounds, and the pain of failure stung my eyes, making me burst into tears.

Despite my morning runs, after-work bootcamps, and restricted diet, my body didn’t look like the bikini models I saw on Instagram.

Despite all my energy, effort, and attention, my romantic relationship fell apart. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, he doesn’t love me anymore and I can’t understand what I did wrong.

Despite working long hours and high stress, my boss didn’t recognize me and I had to face the fact that I wasn’t the talented designer I strived to be.

As I wallow in the heartbreak of failure and “not enough,” I feel my body pleading with me.

“Why don’t you love me?” she asked. “Why do you push me so hard? Why is it never enough?

I was startled, hearing this voice for the first time, filled with the pain of rejection.

In that moment, I realized that everything I had been pushing was sending the message that I was ultimately unacceptable. I need to be different or different in order to be loved, valued, and successful.

The harder I tried to strive for perfection, achieve goals, and prove my worth, the more exhausted, broken, and small I felt. Desperately trying to win the approval of others is actually rejecting and giving up on yourself.

This realization filled me with sadness. What have I done to myself?

Since this clearly wasn’t going to work, I made a decision that changed my life.

“Okay,” I said to my body. “We’re going to do things differently.”

“From now on, I will listen to you.” I promise. “We’re going to do this together.”

I felt my body release a sigh of relief as I made this commitment. She has been waiting for this moment her entire life.

Over the next few months, I left my job, my friendships, and the home my ex and I had built together.

I sought refuge on my parents’ couch, suffering from severe burnout. After years of trying, my body finally gave out.

My body struggled to reach the end of the street. It was so exciting in the store I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn’t sleep for months. I had severe stomach pains, severe migraines, and I couldn’t think straight. My heart is broken. I feel like my life is over.

This is torture for the body. It’s emotionally devastating. This is the greatest blessing.

My body gave me a chance to start over.

The thing about burnout is that you can never go back to your old lifestyle. This approach clearly doesn’t work: lifestyle, thought patterns, identity, environment — it’s not good for you.

Burnout burns everything away and forces you to start over.

I used to be a “hard-working, likeable, perfectionist addicted to external validation.” If I hadn’t done the inner work to let go of this pattern and completely reconnect with my identity, I would have gone straight back into burnout a few years later (sadly, this has happened to others as well).

Trust me, burnout is not something you want to repeat. I promised myself I would never be in that situation again.

During my healing journey, I focused on building a relationship with myself and my body. Not in a way that I command and push my body, but in a way that I connect with her regularly, learn to listen to her, and respect her needs.

Every morning I sit on my meditation cushion and take time to go within.

How do I talk to myself?

Where do I judge myself?

What does my body need that day?

It took me two, almost three years to fully recover from my burnout. To say I can’t wait to feel “normal” again is an understatement.

Whenever I feel down about my body, I quickly shift my attitude to compassion and gratitude, recognizing that my body has been through hell and is doing its best to get back to optimal health. My impatience only added more stress that she honestly didn’t need to deal with.

It was through this that I learned to love myself as who I am, without all the labels of achievement. Burnout robbed me of everything I had worked hard for—my career, my relationships, my body, my home. I had to learn to truly love myself without the badge of productivity.

Through this loving commitment, my body guides me in how to live a life that is right for me.

I discovered that I am a human design projector and need to see my energy above all else. I adjusted my schedule around my energetic pace, including more rest and play throughout the day (admittedly, this wasn’t easy for my workaholic tendencies at first, but now I can’t imagine it any other way Way).

Creating more space allowed me to find my soul’s purpose, which is to teach others how to connect with their bodies, love themselves unconditionally, and create a successful life in a sustainable way. I created a business based on what I loved doing, started coaching women, and hosted retreats around the world—without the extreme hustle I was used to.

All stress of shrinking is gone. Instead of counting calories and pushing my body to its limits, I focused on nutrition and exercise that felt good. I don’t care if my cellulite shows or what people think of my choice of clothing. After years of obsession, this opened up space in my mind and it was the most freeing thing ever.

Learning to love my body changed my entire lifestyle. It made me aware of my boundaries for the first time and helped me create a truly satisfying and balanced relationship.

I went from overworking in a job I hated and overgiving in a bad relationship to running a purpose-driven business where I get paid to be myself and surrounded by people who truly support me people.

All because my body broke with my old life and made me change direction. She showed me a more sustainable, joyful, and consistent way to achieve my dreams.

For that, I am forever grateful.