The holidays are supposed to be a joyful time of year, but for those grieving the loss of a loved one, it can be an extremely difficult and painful time. Memories of past celebrations, empty chairs at the dinner table, and countless holiday traditions that now feel empty can create intense feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief.
However, you can find ways to honor your loved ones and make space for your grief while experiencing moments of peace and even joy during the holidays. Here are 10 tips to help you cope with holiday losses:
embrace your emotions
Allow yourself to feel. Grief comes in waves, and the holidays can bring on powerful emotions. You might feel sad one moment, angry the next, or even joy mixed with guilt.
Don’t try to ignore or suppress your feelings. Instead, be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to experience them. Suppressing your emotions can increase stress and make grieving more difficult, so give yourself permission to feel whatever happens. Writing in a journal, talking to a trusted friend, or just letting yourself cry can be helpful ways to vent.
limit social obligations
The holidays are often filled with parties, get-togethers, and other social events. While it’s important to stay connected, you’re not obligated to attend all events.
Consider what traditions or gatherings you would like to participate in. It’s okay to say “no” to invitations that feel overwhelming. Instead, prioritize small gatherings, or choose to enjoy quiet moments at home if that feels more comfortable. Let close friends and family know your plans and don’t feel guilty about choosing the plan that’s best for you.
Find ways to remember your loved ones
Finding ways to honor your loved one can bring you comfort as you work through the grieving process. For example:
- Light a candle in their memory every night.
- Place a special ornament on the tree.
- Set aside a small area in your home to display photos or keepsakes.
Many people find comfort in giving back. Donating to charity, volunteering, or giving a gift in your loved one’s name can be a great way to preserve their memory. Consider supporting a cause that is meaningful to them, which can bring a sense of connection and purpose to your holiday season.
Avoid triggers
Holiday traditions, music, and decorations can sometimes serve as reminders of your loved one’s absence, exacerbating your grief. So limit your exposure to these triggers if they become overwhelming. For example, you might skip certain parties, avoid certain holiday songs, or decorate differently this year. Just don’t feel guilty when this happens.
Manage financial stress
One unexpected stress that often arises after the death of a loved one is the financial burden of end-of-life arrangements. The cost of a funeral can range from $5,000 to $25,000, which can cause additional stress in addition to the emotional toll.
If you are managing end-of-life tasks for your loved one, consider taking them step by step or delegating them to someone you trust. Better yet, get them done before the holidays. This approach helps reduce financial stress so you can focus on recovery, knowing the details are under control.
Rely on the support of friends and family
The support of friends and family can have a huge impact on your recovery process. Lean on those who understand your loss and can offer comfort without judgment. Surround yourself with loved ones who encourage you to talk about your feelings or share memories of the person you lost. Sometimes, just having friends by your side can make difficult times more bearable.
Prioritize self-care
Self-care is crucial during times of grief, especially during the holidays, when additional stress can exacerbate feelings of loss. Make time for activities that help you relax, whether that’s a walk in the park, reading, a hot bath or just getting some rest.
Taking care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your emotional health. These moments of self-love can help keep stress levels low, relieve depression and anxiety, and make you feel happier.
Keep your traditions (or not)
If certain holiday traditions bring comfort, consider keeping them. However, it’s also acceptable to abandon or modify traditions that feel too painful this year. Be willing to try new things, such as volunteering or spending a day in nature. Whatever you choose, prioritize what feels right and helps you best cope with your grief.
Be grateful for what you have
While this season can highlight what you’ve lost, it can also be a time to appreciate what you have. This doesn’t mean ignoring your pain, but occasionally turning your attention to things or people that bring joy and comfort.
Practicing gratitude can balance your emotions and bring peace. It promotes cardiovascular health by helping you focus on what matters most and improve your sense of well-being.
Consider professional assistance
A qualified mental health professional can provide techniques to help you process your feelings and develop healthy coping strategies. Many people find counseling and therapy beneficial because it provides a safe space to discuss their grief openly.
Looking forward with tender hope
As you go through the holidays, give yourself some grace and look forward to the small moments of joy. Healing loss doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one. This is a time to allow yourself to experience the present moment and find happiness in a way that honors your journey.
While the holidays after a loss may never feel the same, you can still create a meaningful and gentle experience that honors both your grief and your loved one’s memory. Remember, it’s okay to adapt traditions or start new ones to make space for healing in your own way.
