“Embrace the glorious chaos you are.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert
Let’s start with a simple fact: life is inherently chaotic. Despite our best efforts to organize, control, and perfect, life has a way of surprising us and disrupting our neatly folded plans. I used to think that if I worked hard enough, if I was good enough, if I did everything right, I could avoid chaos. But it turns out that life is not like that.
My kitchen, for example, is a testament to the beautiful chaos of everyday life. There are dishes in the sink, crumbs on the counter, and ever-gooey splotches from toddlers and puppies on the floor.
For a long time, I allowed these flaws to haunt me, believing them to be a reflection of my inability to maintain control. It showed that I was lacking as a mother, as a wife, as a homeowner, as a professional, as an adult. Then one day I had a revelation that came as a huge relief. This confusion is not a sign of failure, but a sign of life. The chaos was proof that I was doing my best day in and day out, and that was enough.
the beauty that appears
As it turns out, showing up is half the battle. We often get so caught up in the pursuit of perfection that we forget the importance of living in the present moment.
I learned that life is not about striving for perfection, but about embracing the journey of chaos and inevitable chaos. True beauty lies in finding grace in everyday life, those unsung moments that may never appear on Instagram but form the essence of our existence.
For me, this realization came during a particularly difficult time in my life. I was going through a career transition, an injury that kept me away from my beloved sport, family issues, and a feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
I felt like I was drowning in a sea of responsibilities and couldn’t keep my head above water. Then, one day, a wise friend gave me a piece of advice that changed everything: “Just show up,” she said. “Show up and do your best. That’s all you can do.
Lessons from chaos
embrace imperfection
We live in a world that worships perfection, but the truth is, perfection is an illusion. Embrace your imperfections, your mistakes, and your failures. They are part of your story and make you who you are.
The Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which is about finding beauty in imperfection, has inspired me to accept my flaws and see them as unique markers on my journey. The cracked bowl was repaired with gold and revered for the rich story and life it represented. Its flaws make it stand out in beauty, just like yours.
Find beauty in the ordinary
Life is made up of small, mundane moments. Find the beauty in these moments, whether it’s the warm light coming through your kitchen window in the morning or the joyful screams of your children. This is the most important.
One of my most cherished memories is a simple evening baking cookies with my two-year-old son. Flour was everywhere, the cookies were a little burnt, and my shirt was stained with butter, but when I gave up on my ideals of cleanliness and order, I fell into a priceless and unforgettable joy.
be good to yourself
We are often our own harshest critics. Practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself. Even when things are difficult, acknowledge your efforts and believe in your performance.
During these trying times, I made a habit of writing little notes of encouragement to myself: “You can handle this. You’re a great mom. A caring therapist. A worthy person.” It feels awkward at first, but over time, it becomes a powerful tool for self-kindness.
Let go of control
Trying to control everything is exhausting and ultimately futile. Let go of the need to control and learn to let nature take its course. Believe that things will work out, even if they don’t go the way you expected.
I used to plan every detail of our family vacations, but the most memorable trips were the spontaneous ones where we let go, embraced adventure, and followed our curiosities as they surfaced.
Practical tips for embracing chaos
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness means living in the present moment and accepting it without judgment. When you find yourself overwhelmed by chaos, take a few deep breaths and focus on the present moment. Be aware of the sights, sounds, and smells around you.
I started a daily mindfulness practice, spending just two minutes each morning for quiet reflection. That’s right – two! That was all I could do until I heard “Mom, Mom,” but it had a significant impact on my ability to be present and receptive. This simple act changed the way I spend my day.
Set realistic expectations
It’s easy to fall into unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. Set realistic goals and stay flexible when things don’t go as planned.
I learned this lesson the hard way as I tried to juggle a counseling practice, family responsibilities, and a new exercise and recovery routine. It was only when I downsized, made a real list of priorities, and focused on one meaningful task at a time that I found a sustainable balance.
celebrate small wins
Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Every step is progress, and it’s important to recognize and appreciate your efforts.
My husband and I have created a gratitude ritual at the end of the day where we share even the smallest victories, like completing a task or having a great conversation. It helps us overcome the inevitable setbacks and disappointments of the day and reminds us of our blessings and progress.
Learn to say no
It’s okay to say no to things that don’t serve you or that you don’t have the ability to do. Prioritize your well-being and focus on what is truly important to you. I used to say yes to every request and wear myself out. Learning to say “no” was liberating and allowed me to put my energy into what really matters.
Move forward gracefully
As I stand in my kitchen, surrounded by the beautiful chaos of everyday life, I am reminded of the profound lessons that come with embracing chaos. Crumbs on the counter and sticky specks on the floor are not symbols of failure but of a fulfilling life. They show me being present day in and day out and doing my best.
The chaos of life is where we find our true selves—we learn to embrace imperfection, find beauty in the mundane, and show kindness to ourselves. This is where we relinquish control and learn to go with the flow, trusting that things will work out, even if it doesn’t go the way we expected.
Embracing change and the chaos that comes with it has taught me that the most beautiful moments often come from the most unexpected places. It showed me that resilience, adaptability and strength come from facing our fears and stepping into the unknown.
Recently, a wise friend gave me a refrigerator magnet that read, “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.” There was a time when I might have felt frustrated or even insulted by this message. Instead, I now see it as a gentle reminder to exhale and accept myself and my messy life as valuable, unique, and filled with rich lessons and avenues for growth.
If you find yourself struggling with the chaos of life, I encourage you to find grace in the chaos. Embrace imperfection, express yourself, and do your best. Remember, you are enough, just the way you are. Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed by crumbs on the counter or sticky spots on the floor, take a moment to breathe and appreciate life in those messy, imperfect spaces. Show up, do your best, and believe that’s enough.
About Robin Evan Willis
Robin Evan Willis is a licensed clinical counselor specializing in anxiety, self-esteem, and personal growth. With a background in performance and a passion for mental health, Robin shares insights and tools to help others navigate their emotional landscape. She believes in the power of embracing life’s imperfections and finding beauty in everyday moments. Robin provides compassionate support and practical strategies to help her clients thrive. Visit coachingwithrobin.com to learn more about her work.
