“We all have two lives. The second begins when we realize we only have one. ~ Confucius
According to Gettysburg College, the average person spends 90,000 hours working during their lifetime. For many of us, that seems to be the answer to Mary Oliver’s famous question: “What are you going to do with your wild and precious life?” It’s work. So why do so many of us continue to work in jobs we don’t like?
For three years, my job left me feeling restless and idle. On paper, this seems appropriate. This aligns with my experience in education administration, which I entered through a mutual friend in college. But in reality, the company’s culture made it difficult for me to feel comfortable there and have any kind of life outside of work.
When I go to work, I just keep walking, walking, walking. I expect to work a few weekends in the fall, summer, and spring, sometimes from home and sometimes traveling for conferences. I often work mornings and evenings, the pay is good, but not great (I work for a non-profit), and I don’t work overtime.
Because of this, I’m extremely wary of the few free hours I have on the weekends, preferring to use them to recharge quietly at home. I felt resentful when family or friends invited me to visit because I felt like I was exhausted from the day-to-day life and had nothing left to give them.
My colleagues rarely receive paid time off and are sometimes denied it. I once asked to take Friday off to attend a close friend’s wedding but was told that was not feasible. It took me five hours of driving in the passenger seat to get to the venue.
After receiving a message from my boss at the rehearsal dinner at 8pm on Friday night, I turned off my phone in frustration. When I do need a break, I’m often asked to help my boss online or over the phone. I heard from her at the beach on a friend’s solo trip, at a rental house on a family vacation, at my aunt and uncle’s house for Thanksgiving, and even in a remote mountain town in Italy.
I started googling “how to fight burnout,” “what to do if you don’t like your job,” “how do I keep working overtime without feeling like I’m eating ice cream in ninety-degree weather?” “What if I don’t have it every morning?” Time to play with my dog, will it still love me like before?” Somehow, in my Google spiral, I came across the concept of “Ikigai”.
Ikigai is a Japanese philosophy that means “reason for being,” and it involves finding fulfillment in the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for it.
It asks, “Why do you get up in the morning?” and suggests that, if you live your life, your career should be the answer. Not only is my job not the reason I wake up in the morning (that honor goes to my two-year-old golden retriever Nemo), but it’s also the reason I doze off and roll under the covers for shelter.
So I quit. It wasn’t that simple – it took a lot of work and a fair amount of luck, but I eventually pivoted to a new path that better suited my lifestyle. When thinking about why I get up in the morning, one of the first things that comes to mind is reading – I read several books a week and nothing makes me happier than a few hours of quiet time with a cup of coffee and writing – So the editing felt like an encouraging starting point.
Now, I work as an editorial manager at a small company just two miles from my home. I’m doing work I love, with people I love, and I never work on the weekends. I’m not sure I’ve found my Ikigai yet, but my current job allows me to explore things I enjoy while giving me time to develop interests and think about what I really enjoy.
I’m not the only one who has aspirations to achieve goals and needs to follow a career path that works for me. A 2021 Gallup report found that 60% of Millennials and 57% of Gen Z are open to new job opportunities, with a large number saying their main driver is a desire for meaningful work.
Unlike many baby boomers who saw financial security as a top priority, today’s young people are more likely to leave jobs that don’t provide a sense of purpose or opportunity for personal growth. A 2019 MetLife study found that 74% of baby boomers believe financial security and benefits are the most critical factors in a job, compared with only 54% of millennials.
In our culture, we are expected to choose a career in our early twenties, before knowing anything about the world or ourselves, and to forever climb the same ladder, seeking prestige and financial gain. But that standard is changing.
Young people are choosing to quit their jobs to pursue their dreams, whether that means switching to a new career path, becoming a freelancer, starting their own business or traveling. Like me, they are unwilling to put up with work-life imbalance and work that doesn’t make sense to them. They seek jobs that provide personal fulfillment, align with their values, and provide a sense of purpose.
How do you find your Ikigai?
So, how to find your Ikigai? This is not a day of revelation, but a journey of self-discovery. It requires thought, preparation and reflection. Here are five steps you can take to implement Ikigai.
1. Set aside time for self-reflection.
Practice self-reflection to understand your passions, strengths, and values. Tools like journaling or personality assessments can help illuminate what drives you.
Use the following journal prompts:
What activities make you lose track of time?
What do people often ask you for help with?
What are your strengths and talents?
When are you happiest and why?
2. Experiment.
Try different activities, volunteer or participate in side projects to explore your interests and see what resonates with you. It may take some trial and error to get a good feel for what will satisfy you.
Here are some options you can explore:
Take up a new hobby or take on a volunteer role.
Attend a free workshop or community event.
Collaborate on projects that interest you.
Join interest groups in your community.
3. Set goals and make plans.
Consider your passions and strengths and use them to set actionable goals. Create a roadmap with clear steps to achieve these goals. Setting specific goals will increase your motivation for change and give you something to work towards and look forward to.
Try setting SMART goals. This means they are:
specific
could be measured
can be fulfilled
related
There is a time limit
4. Ask for feedback.
Seek feedback from mentors, peers, or professionals in your area of interest. Talking to the people who know you best can give you insight into parts of yourself you might not be aware of, including what turns you on. Talking to people who know the industry you’re interested in can help you determine if it’s the right industry for you before completely pivoting in a new direction.
Consider the following suggestions:
Ask your friends and family what they think of your strengths and passions.
Ask your boss what they think you do best at work and what you seem to enjoy.
Seek out informal mentors who can provide advice and guidance.
5. Embrace continuous learning.
Commitment to lifelong learning through courses, readings, and other educational activities. Staying curious and open to new knowledge can help you adapt and thrive in the pursuit of your goals.
The following books have been helpful to me as I search for my purpose:
Ikigai: The secret of Japanese longevity and happiness Life Author: Hector Garcia and Francisco Miralles
Braving the Wilderness: Finding a True Sense of Belonging and the Courage to Be Independent Author: Brené Brown
Again: The power of knowing what you don’t know Author: Adam Grant
Additional philosophy for a happy life
At the heart of Ikigai is the pursuit of contentment. As you search for Ikigai, here are some other philosophies that can help you find contentment in your daily life:
Hagrid “Country living” is a Danish concept that “brings a comfortable sense of contentment and happiness through enjoying the simple things in life.” Hygge emphasizes creating a warm atmosphere. It’s about finding joy in everyday life and promoting community and togetherness.
ease This is the Swedish philosophy, which translates to “not too little, not too much, just right.” Lagom encourages a balanced, sustainable lifestyle and making conscious choices that lead to contentment without excess. It’s about finding harmony and contentment through simplicity.
outdoor living Translating to “open air living”, it is a Norwegian concept that celebrates outdoor living and nature. Friluftsliv emphasizes the importance of spending time in nature for physical and mental health. It encourages the outdoors and connection with the natural environment as a source of joy, relaxation and purpose.
final thoughts
I have witnessed firsthand how many young people, myself included, are increasingly leaving traditional jobs in search of more fulfilling and flexible careers, driven by the grind of poor quality work and the desire for personal and professional development . Embracing a concept like Ikigai has been transformative for me and a great reminder for others.
By actively pursuing our purpose and using strategies to find what truly drives us, we can navigate our career paths with greater clarity and joy. This journey is not just about finding a job, but about creating a life that resonates with us and what we value most. After all, we only have one life.
About Nori Beach
Norrie Beach is a freelance writer and blogger passionate about mental health and meaningful living. Always looking to elevate herself and others, she particularly enjoys writing about career accomplishments, cultural trends, and making an impact.
