“The self is not the master of its own house.” ~Sigmund Freud
what does that mean? If you are not responsible, then who is?
Before we get into that, let me tell you the story.
That little voice comes again
My jaw tightened and I couldn’t sit still. Anyone could tell the conversation was going south. As I was fiddling with my car keys, somewhat distractedly, a very distinct, insistent little sound forced me to interrupt my sister.
go ahead. speak out! tell her to stop talking!
Like a broken tape, this sentence You are wrong It keeps looping in my head. Honestly, I don’t even listen to her anymore. Her idea was ridiculous and I just wanted her to stop saying it.
I couldn’t bite my tongue anymore, slapped the table and said, “You are wrong!”
After a while we were arguing with each other and the inevitable happened. he said she said happened.
Little did I know it was my ego speaking.
In today’s spiritual circles, many wars are waged against the ego. Any problem you have, they will tell you to blame it on your ego and destroy it.
Monster under the bed. Nightmarish stuff. correct?
But what is self? Yeah real Is it considered evil? Was Freud right?
The self is the house of the self
I like to think of myself as my own family, like the different houses of the Starks, Lannisters, and Targaryens. game of Thrones.
Self is who you are, or all the things you identify with.
From ideas to things, basically anything you label I, mineand mine.
As the eminent spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle said:
“The self is nothing but: identification with form, which means primarily thought-form.”
When you identify with any idea, such as “my name”, “my things”, “my feelings” or “my thoughts”, you generate ego.
Why does the self exist?
You cannot survive without ego or self-awareness.
If you can’t tell the difference between “what is you” and “what is not you,” everything will get mixed together like a tangled mess. You cannot separate yourself from a tree, a car, another person, or a gun.
Without self-awareness, you can easily walk into traffic, get hit by a knife, be chased by an animal, touch a live wire, or find yourself in a variety of dangers.
So, yes, the ego has a job – to keep you alive.
It will always protect you from what it perceives to be a threat, just like a scorpion will always sting when provoked. You could say that the ego is serving you by protecting the individual “you” at all costs.
Like a dragon guarding its treasure, it will always defend what you identify with and reject anything that threatens your identity.
Why do you think my pride keeps urging me to interrupt my sister while we’re chatting?
Same reason.
So my expression is correct Or you’re wrong.
Why does self have a bad reputation?
Like everything else, the ego is a neutral instrument. Depending on how it is used, it becomes “good” or “bad”.
There are two possible reasons for its less than stellar reputation.
The first reason is duality.
In the words of author and emerging thought leader Teal Swan:
“The ego wants to be different. It wants to be good, right, better, superior, etc. There is nothing wrong with this drive in itself.
By distinguishing between “you” and “not you,” you create duality or separation.
The separation between spirit and matter, the visible and the invisible, man and his fellow man.
This isn’t a bad thing. But staying in duality without seeing the bigger picture (oneness and interconnectedness) can lead to judgment, fear, and pain.
For example, when you view life through the lenses of “good/bad,” “right/wrong,” “acceptable/unacceptable,” “clean/dirty,” etc., you experience separation and separate yourself from the vast. isolated from the unity.
Or, when you judge others as “bad,” “wrong,” “sinful,” or “evil,” you allow your ego to take over and control you. This is the root of virtually all divisions in the world—separations based on color, economic status, race, and religion.
Even when you judge parts of yourself to be “bad,” “ugly,” “wrong,” or “sinful,” you reject much of yourself. In fact, you are disconnected from your shadow self and becoming increasingly dysfunctional.
The second reason is persistence.
The Buddha said that attachment is the root of all suffering, and this hammer hammered his head. This wisdom dates back thousands of years and is at the heart of Hydra.
This is what happened.
When you get too hung up on your identity and don’t chip away at the parts that no longer serve you or carve out the parts that need to be adjusted, you experience pain.
When you stay in your comfort zone and refuse to participate in this (mental or psychological) never-ending cycle of death and rebirth, you experience pain.
Or you may experience pain again when you cling to your thoughts and refuse to accept change.
In other words, as long as you identify with anything in your ego house to the point that they drive you, you will experience unnecessary pain.
How do you work with your self?
This line of thinking works well for me. It might help you too.
I am not the clothes I wear.
If something happened to them, say my boots wore out or I no longer needed them, I wouldn’t have a problem throwing them away and getting new ones because I’m not my boots.
I discovered that the key was not to destroy or “transcend” my ego, but to detach from it.
If I identified with the boots, I would keep them out of attachment and resist the idea of change, which would cause me pain in the long run.
But from this perspective of transcendent awareness, I give myself the freedom to change what needs to change and experience positive change.
To be more honest, I used to think detachment meant carelessness or a lack of commitment to something or someone. Now I see this as the highest form of acceptance—acceptance of all that is strange, different, or unfamiliar.
So when you detach yourself from who you are, you become more accepting of things. This allows you to start from a place of empathy and create space for you, me, and others to live in harmony.
final thoughts
You are not yourself. you have one. Everyone does this.
Whatever you put in the house of self, from thoughts to things, will shape you as an individual and contribute to the development of self. This is what makes up your human experience.
The best part is that the real you – the consciousness, or the immortal being of the real you – houses the self, not the other way around.
So, yes, Freud was right. The self is not the master of its own home. Who are you. By living a life without judgment, you can always keep your home in order.
The more you welcome change from a place of loving awareness and recognize how everything is connected, the friendlier your relationship with yourself becomes.
But hey, as the saying goes, your House, your rules.
About Mercer Moon Hotel
Moon Merthur is a psychic, holistic spiritual teacher, and founder of Gods and Mirrors. She loves to connect human things with divine truth. If the high priestess falls in love with a mortal, she becomes their child. You can learn more about her on her website . If you enjoy spiritual topics and channel messaging, connect with her on Gods and Mirrors (YouTube). There might be something in there for you. ❣
