“After a while, every couple gets bored. That’s why trying new things together is key. ~ Unknown
When life gets busy with work, kids, and daily responsibilities, it’s easy for relationships to fall into a familiar rhythm. Routines are comforting, but they can also lead to a kind of autopilot in love—a state where everything feels predictable and, ultimately, a little uninspired.
My partner and I have a strong connection, but we both noticed something felt…different. It wasn’t bad, but we missed the spark of excitement we had in our early days together. So we decided to shake things up with some new, shared experiences.
We didn’t make grand plans or book extravagant vacations. Instead, we choose to inject novelty into our relationships in small ways.
We started trying little things that felt unfamiliar, even a little challenging, to see if we could rekindle that initial excitement of discovery. I’ve found that novelty – no matter how small – can bring you closer, help you see each other in a new light, and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.
Here’s what I learned as we explored together and how these simple shifts can help us reconnect.
1. Rekindle passion through novelty
The first thing we did was something simple but unexpectedly refreshing: we discussed what drew us to each other. I don’t mean the usual compliments, but real conversations about the things we love, admire, and love about each other.
It felt weird at first—like a conversation we might have had in the early days of dating rather than a few years into our marriage. But when we each share the things that make us feel attracted to each other, it brings a sense of excitement to our connection.
Hearing my partner describe the little quirks and qualities they like about me is like seeing myself in a new light. It reminded me that attraction isn’t just about the initial spark, it’s about the way we continue to notice each other.
Psychologists say novelty triggers the release of dopamine, a chemical that floods our brains during the early, intense stages of love. To me, this little exercise is like a reminder of why we fell in love with each other in the first place.
Since that conversation, we’ve made a habit of trying new things together – whether it’s a different recipe, a walk in a new part of town, or even talking about things we’ve never discussed before. These little moments of novelty keep things exciting and remind me that sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective to bring the excitement back.
2. See each other in a new light
One night we decided to make a simple dessert together, but we turned it into something more purposeful. We dimmed the lights, put on some music, and treated the experience like a date night. At first, it seemed like a normal thing, but the way we slowed down, focused, and enjoyed the process made it feel special. Without our usual distractions, I found myself noticing things about my partner that I hadn’t appreciated in a while—their laughter, their patience, the way they enjoyed the little details.
It’s funny how everyday life can easily make us forget the qualities that made us fall in love in the first place. That night I felt like I was seeing my partner in a whole new light. It reminds me that relationships are not only about supporting each other in life’s responsibilities, but also about truly enjoying each other’s company. After that night, I found myself feeling more connected, retaining those little things I saw in them that night, like a new spark in our relationship.
3. Connect through silent presence
One of the most amazing experiences was when we sat quietly, holding hands and focusing on our breathing. We decided to try it as a way to calm down after a busy week, but it turned out to be a more profound experience than I expected. In that quiet moment, without any words or expectations, I felt a connection with my partner that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
At first, it felt strange—like I should do something, say something. But as I fell into silence, I realized that sometimes, just being together is enough.
This non-verbal connection has become an important part of our relationship. It taught me that we don’t always need to communicate through words or actions; sometimes, just being present is more important than anything else. This experience taught us to find peace together, even when the world outside feels busy and overwhelming.
4. Rediscover weaknesses through play
One of the funniest moments was when we decided to share some of our most embarrassing stories with each other—things we hadn’t talked about in years. We laughed a lot that night and had a sense of relaxation that is rare in ordinary life. It’s like peeling back layers of clothing and remembering the silly, imperfect parts of ourselves that we don’t usually show.
Sharing these vulnerable and sometimes embarrassing moments brings us closer. Research shows that vulnerability builds trust in relationships, and that night I realized that not only can deep conversations build intimacy, but also shared laughter.
This lightheartedness brings a fresh sense of joy to our relationship and reminds me of how much fun we have together when we let go of our serious sides.
5. Find peace in nature together
One of the most grounding experiences we’ve ever tried together is spending time outdoors without any real agenda. We decided to take a walk in nature one day, walking slowly, letting ourselves relax, and talking (or not talking) as we walked. It is a peaceful, free and perfect escape from our busy lives.
Being outside, away from it all, reminds me of the simple joy of being with each other. Research shows that spending time in nature can reduce stress and increase happiness, and sharing this time with your loved ones can enhance this effect. After that walk, I felt calmer and more connected. I realized how powerful it can be to disconnect from our usual surroundings and share the quiet experience of being in a place where the world feels a little slower.
Final Thoughts: Rediscover each other through new experiences
These experiences taught me that novelty doesn’t have to mean grand gestures or expensive travel. Often, small, intentional changes bring the greatest rewards. By stepping out of our comfort zones in small ways, we found ourselves rediscovering each other and reconnecting in ways I didn’t think possible.
Trying new things together is not just about killing boredom, but also about avoiding it. It’s about creating shared memories, strengthening your connection, and reminding each other of the excitement that brought you together in the first place.
So, if you’re feeling a little too comfortable in your relationship, take a small step outside of normalcy. Try something different, have a conversation you’ve never had before, and see what happens. Sometimes, all it takes to reconnect is a willingness to explore each other from a new perspective.
About Rolle de Beer
Rolle shares personal insights into rejuvenating relationships through sharing experiences and stepping out of your comfort zone. Learn more about reconnecting with your partner at Ludiza.com, or try the Ludiza app for guided activities on Android and iOS.
