“Take a moment to be surprised by something you wouldn’t enjoy unless you consciously choose to focus on it. See things you don’t see when you’re in a hurry. Hear things you don’t hear when you’re stressed. Be completely immersed in you to the senses, everything else seems to stop temporarily—because things don’t actually stop. So we have to be the ones to do that. ~ Lori Deschene.
As December rolled around, I made a conscious choice to feel free and true to myself: I was going to celebrate a quiet Christmas at home with my best friends.
While my family lives far away, and tradition may dictate buying plane tickets and planning an elaborate vacation trip, this year I heard a deeper wisdom—one that honors my personal growth, sense of balance, and the importance of living in our lives. the need for peaceful reflection.
The decision wasn’t made lightly, but it felt right. Instead of navigating crowded airports, dealing with the stress of travel logistics, and focusing on what is truly important to me, I am creating space for 2024 to be over. Loving myself is enough for me to realize what I truly need right now.
Check important things
The path to this decision became clear as I began to look at what was truly important to me right now. While my family gatherings are always wonderful, they also bring different expectations and dynamics—competing priorities, and well-intentioned but sometimes overwhelming devotion to each other’s life choices.
By staying home, I am creating a sanctuary where I can stay deeply connected to my inner compass as I prepare for the year ahead.
My best friend also had this vision: a peaceful vacation. Like me, his family lives far away, so we jumped at the chance to enjoy each other’s company this holiday season and celebrate our friendship and shared values. Together we plan simple yet meaningful celebrations focused on joy, rest, and genuine connection.
Our plans include an at-home holiday movie marathon filled with tons of holiday classics and romantic comedies. We also try new recipes and bake to our own liking, turning the kitchen into a festive hub of delicious food. There’s power in choosing to celebrate differently—saying yes to what feels real rather than what’s expected.
I was lucky that my family showed a wonderful understanding, although not without some disappointment at first. When I shared my vacation plans, I could sense their initial sadness that we wouldn’t be able to be together. But that feeling quickly turned to compassion and love as they realized how important this choice was to me.
Their responses reflect the love and support that make our relationship special. They get it—they understand that sometimes taking care of yourself means making choices that deviate from the traditional script.
This conversation helped me come to terms with my decision more deeply. It reminds me that love and connection are not dependent on distance or performance, but love and connection thrive when we trust each other and respect our needs.
New possibilities and intentional celebration
This simplified holiday has opened up new possibilities. Without the usual rush of travel preparations and numerous gift purchases, I found time to think deeply about my goals and desires.
My best friend and I are looking forward to spending quality time together. Especially refreshing is the quiet spaciousness of this season. It’s not just about what we’re doing, it’s also about what we’re not doing. There’s no rush, no overreach, and no pressure to meet anyone’s expectations other than our own.
What’s really special about this setup is how we blend celebration with intention. From Christmas to New Year’s Day, we are creating a space for reflection and renewal. It’s not just about enjoying a vacation; It’s about entering the new year with a clearer sense of what’s most important.
Whether we’re brainstorming dreams for the future or just enjoying the smell of freshly baked cookies, this sense of intentionality is the perfect way to honor the spirit of the season. It reminds us that peace and joy are not things we discover, but rather things we create.
Choosing to forego the usual hustle and bustle of the holidays also gave me an unexpected gift: the freedom to focus on the things that truly fulfill me. Instead of trying to do it all, I found joy in the simple pleasures—a heartfelt conversation, a home-cooked meal, and the sense of relief that comes from slowing down.
Remarkably, small shifts can spark waves of change in many areas of life. This choice reminds me that less is more.
Create your own meaningful vacation
For anyone considering similar options, here’s what I learned about creating a meaningful vacation on your own terms.
1. Trust your gut About what you need.
Sometimes, the best gift you can give yourself is permission to break with tradition when it benefits your well-being.
2. Simplify celebrations.
A meaningful vacation doesn’t require elaborate planning or expensive parties. Often, the quietest moments bring the greatest joy.
3. Set love boundaries.
If family members express hurt or disappointment through guilt or emotional stress, remember that their reactions usually come from a place of love. You can validate their feelings while still respecting your decision, using phrases like “I know this is different from our usual traditions, and I understand why this is difficult,” and then give a clear, kind explanation for your choice explain.
Consider coming up with concrete ways to make the holidays special despite the distance, perhaps by holding a virtual gift-opening meeting or planning a dedicated family celebration next time. This shows your family that you are still committed to maintaining meaningful connections with them.
4. Embrace creativity.
Whether it’s trying new traditions, experimenting with recipes, or simply finding new ways to connect, creativity can inject fresh meaning into the holidays.
5. Prioritize rest and reflection.
The holidays can be an emotional time, so give yourself some space to recharge. Whether it’s a long walk, journaling, or meditation, a moment of silence can bring clarity and calm.
6. Create your own traditions.
Personal rituals, such as lighting candles, writing a gratitude list, or hosting a movie night, can be a comforting and grounding way to mark the season. Or create something completely unique that reflects what matters most to you. The point is you have a choice.
7. Focus on experiences rather than material things.
Instead of stressing over gifts, embrace the simple joys of the season; like savoring a favorite holiday meal, watching a movie that makes you feel comfortable, or taking a moment to appreciate the little things around you.
8. Stay flexible.
Life rarely goes according to plan, and that’s okay. By letting go of strict expectations, you can make space for unexpected moments of joy and connection.
Thanks for the change
2024 is coming to an end and I’m grateful that I chose to celebrate in a different way this time. This low-key Christmas isn’t something I’m giving up. It’s all about what I gained: clarity, peace, and the joy of respecting my own path.
By choosing this simpler celebration, I’m not only preparing myself for a better start in 2025; I’m now practicing the art of living authentically. To me, this feels like the greatest gift of all.
About Mary Wilmer
Mary Wilmer is a passionate advocate for living with an attitude of gratitude. As co-founder of Gratitude Perks, her mission is to help everyone discover the power of gratitude. Her commitment to helping others live their best lives is unparalleled. Through fun online courses, retreats, and products, Mary makes it easy for you to enrich your life and unlock the potential that comes from gratitude. Follow her on Instagram at Gratitude Perks.
