While you may want to dive headfirst into real estate investing, there’s no guarantee your partner will want to do the same. Getting your significant other (the most important person on your real estate investing team) to support your investing dreams can feel like an uphill battle.
Your partner may want to stick with traditional sources of income, while you may have grand plans to create passive income.This is a common dilemma for many aspiring real estate investors who have had an investing epiphany back Enter into a committed relationship.
It’s easy to feel stymied as an investor when your partners don’t buy into the idea. Here, we’ll discuss seven steps you need to take if you want to win over your significant other as a real estate investor.
1. Understand the partner’s financial perspective
Before you try to convince your significant other to invest with you or support your investment in real estate, you must understand their financial perspective.
We all enter relationships with certain financial beliefs and risk tolerances. How you manage your income and risk tolerance are influenced in part by your early life experiences. These behaviors around money can be difficult to change, especially without a reason.
In many cases, one person in a relationship is more risk-averse than the other. Different risk profiles may lead to divergence in investing shared savings. You must understand this when preparing to send a message to your partner.
2. Do your work in advance
Before approaching your partner with an investment topic, make sure you know your stuff. Dig deeper into real estate by looking online, reading books, and researching the market of your choice. Hone your investment strategies and develop the ability to analyze transactions.
Establishing expertise in an area naturally allows you to speak about it with confidence. If you know exactly what it takes to become a successful real estate investor, you’ll have a better chance of convincing your partners to come on board.
It’s normal to want to take this journey side by side with your significant other. But if they’re not ready or not as passionate about investing as you are, that’s okay. Focus on doing your part first, and be okay with the idea that it may take some time for your partner to come to terms with it.
3. Have a good implementation record
If your partner is on the fence about investing with you, it may be because you’ve mentioned goals in the past but haven’t followed through on them.
Every year, we set goals around the lifestyle changes we want to make, the financial milestones we want to achieve, and the new journeys we want to embark on. Yet, few of us actually deliver on what we say we’re going to do.
While there’s no guarantee that every investment will be successful, you can show your partner that you’re committed to the journey by keeping your word in your home. Make it a habit to do everything you say you will do.
If you say you’re going to cook, then do it. Want to get up early? Get up as soon as the alarm goes off. Over time, this will subconsciously show your significant other that you are trustworthy, so when it comes time to invest together, it will be a no-brainer.
4. Share what you learned
Once you have some knowledge on your own, invite your partner to start learning with you. Ask them to accompany you the next time you attend a networking event or seminar. Share blog posts, podcasts, and other sources of information that interest you.
Encouraging your partners to learn about real estate investing from other experts can pique an interest they didn’t have before and help them form their own ideas around the topic. If your significant other is more risk-averse than you are, be sure to give them enough time to do their own research. Also, be prepared to address objections with your own research and supporting evidence.
Real estate investing can be intimidating to someone who has never invested in real estate before, so it may take some time for your partner to warm to the idea. Be patient when they express doubts and look for opportunities to discuss new insights together.
Remember: Not everyone wants to be a real estate investor
Some people just don’t want to invest in real estate. You can try to convince them of all you want, but they may not share your enthusiasm.
That’s totally fine. Date night doesn’t need to turn into a crazy podcast or analysis of a new rental property spreadsheet (although that would be cool). The goal is to have your partner support your efforts—anything else is a bonus.
Rest assured, as your passion for real estate grows, your significant other will notice. Even if they’re not interested in actually investing with you, seeing your enthusiasm might be enough to tug at their heartstrings.
5. Understand how it will help you achieve your long-term financial goals
This could be a game-changer for you and your partner. By connecting the goals you set as a couple with your goals as investors, you can ensure your partner’s long-term support.
Think about the financial goals you have as a couple or family and create a narrative around how you can achieve those goals faster through real estate investing. Highlight how a real estate transaction supports your overall financial goals, whether that’s building wealth, creating passive income for retirement, or funding your children’s education.
6. Develop a detailed action plan
Once you’ve warmed your partner to the idea of investing in real estate together, develop a plan of action that they feel comfortable with. Creating a step-by-step investment plan will help your partners understand your thought process and reassure them that you are prepared to handle any bumps along the way.
Be sure to include the logic behind your analysis of the trade, the investment strategy you plan to follow, and why investing in the market you choose is a good idea. The more you explain the reasons behind your decision, the less doubtful your partner will be.
You want to be particularly detailed in the financial portion of your investment plan. Real estate finance can be confusing to people who are unfamiliar with the industry. Consider how current income, existing assets, credit scores, and past financial challenges may affect your ability to borrow as a couple.
7. Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis: take action
Once you and your partner have agreed on investing together and agreed on an investment plan, it’s time to take action. Many real estate investors experience analysis paralysis, which limits their success in the long run.
While real estate investments should be considered carefully, they often require you to make a quick decision. Good deals come fast and market conditions are constantly changing. If you indulge in overthinking and indecision, you may miss out on great investment opportunities.
If you’re having trouble taking the first steps on your investing journey as a couple, consider these tips:
Take calculated risks
As a first-time investor, you may need to plan all your transactions from start to finish. However, you will soon realize that this is not always possible. No investment is completely risk-free, so there will always be a degree of ambiguity.
The key is to develop a tolerance for the uncertainty of potential transactions without giving up on your financial goals. This allows you to take calculated risks that are consistent with your overall investment plan.
From the little things
After spending hours researching real estate investing strategies, convincing your significant other to get on board, and developing a detailed investment plan, you may think you need to go big or go home. But that’s not necessarily true.
Start with manageable investments that allow you to gain experience and build confidence. It’s best to start with small, low-risk trades so you can see a return on your investment and validate your decision-making skills with a partner.
Do something
Once you have conducted your due diligence and identified a viable opportunity, act decisively. Don’t let fear of failure or uncertainty stop you from taking the next step.
If taking that first step seems overwhelming, break it down into smaller, more doable tasks.
For example, if your overall goal is to buy a distressed property within three months, set a smaller goal of driving around your neighborhood every Saturday looking for abandoned or foreclosed homes. By setting smaller goals, you hold yourself accountable to making at least some progress in the right direction.
final thoughts
Investing in real estate with your partner can be a lifelong and rewarding journey that not only improves your financial future, but also strengthens your relationship. While it may seem difficult at first, it’s possible to make your spouse an investing partner even if you have different ideas about how to spend your money. In fact, different money management skills can help strengthen your investment decisions.
Do your best to understand your partner’s financial perspective and view their objections as insight. If your partner is particularly risk-averse, it may take them longer to warm to the idea. Be patient throughout the process so that both you and your partner can benefit in the future.
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Notes on BiggerPockets: These are the opinions written by the author and do not necessarily represent the views of BiggerPockets.
