Every Monday morning, Melinda French Gates schedules a walk with three of her closest female friends.
“I’ve been very lucky to have three female friends over 30 years,” Francesco told Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King in an interview posted on her YouTube channel this week. “If you’re in town, you walk.”
In celebration of her 60th birthday, French Gates, who recently announced a $1 billion donation to organizations and individuals on the forefront of gender equality, joined Kim and Winfrey in her “Moments That Make Us” series sits down to talk about the pearls of aging—and the power of female friendship. King and Winfrey have been friends for 50 years after meeting in Baltimore, where Winfrey, then 22, anchored the show and offered King, 21, a job as a production assistant. They told French Gates that their lives would be very different without each other’s continued support, which helped them through job changes and Kim’s divorce.
Winfrey, 70, said of King, 69, “She played a solid role for me, like a mother or a sister or whatever it might be.”
Winfrey, 30, recalled being reluctant to accept new opportunities in Chicago. “Gail was the only one who said, ‘I think you can do it,'” she said, praising King for believing in her potential. “I think our friendship works because Gail is happier – not happy, but happier“To me, any success or victory or challenge that I experience is bigger than myself,” Winfrey said in the interview. Kim feels the same way, saying she wouldn’t have attended the CBS or Met Gala without this friendship.
As for French Gates and her closest friends: “They are my truth counselors. Whenever I have to make a really hard decision or make a big change, I know I have to have the courage to tell them… and They were honest with me,” she said.
This powerful trio makes sense because the longest research on happiness to date highlights the strength of our relationships as the biggest determinant of our happiness at the end of life. Additionally, people crave connection, and while maintaining friendships may be more difficult in midlife, it is vital to our well-being amid the ongoing loneliness epidemic. Social isolation puts people at risk for chronic diseases such as dementia and heart disease as their potential for happiness diminishes.
Winfrey said strong friendships last when both parties support and encourage the other, offer helpful perspectives and don’t fall into jealous or competitive patterns. It doesn’t matter how many people you know because even close friends are enough.
French Gates had a support system during her highly publicized divorce from Bill Gates in 2021, a period she called “incredibly painful” The importance is most obvious to her.
“Without my three closest friends, I wouldn’t have been able to get divorced. There was no chance,” French Gates said in an interview. She said that when she thought about her relationship herself, she told three confidants about her relationship struggles. “You actually need a friend who will tell you the truth even if you don’t want to hear it. I would say my friends, they have opinions about me and I have opinions about them. When you have a long-term friendship, you Witness it all with each other.
What makes Kim and Winfrey’s friendship so strong? “We have very similar views on people. We agree on a lot of things,” King said. She said she would never have made a major life decision without Winfrey’s advice. “And a philosophy of life,” Winfrey added.
Winfrey and King note that having close friendships as we age not only enhances our physical and mental health, but also helps us redefine what it means to grow old, encouraging us to make bold shifts, follow our intuition, and Keep growing.
“Love helps you blossom, helps you thrive, helps you become the best version of yourself,” Winfrey said. She encouraged people to focus on the whispers life brings you to move in the right direction and make your “Walking Cabinet” surrounds you. A friend you can rely on in times of need. “If you pay attention to your life, life will only get better.”
For French Gates, she feels like life in her 60s is just beginning, and her weekly morning walks will continue to be a staple of this new decade.
“In the past, women wouldn’t talk about our age, as if we should be ashamed of our age. But I’m really proud that I’m turning 60,” French Gates said. “Shouldn’t we celebrate it? I hope by this age we’ve gained some wisdom, right? We don’t talk about the importance of deep female friendships.
