“Humility, forgiveness, clarity, and love are the engines of freedom. They are the foundation of true power. ~Gary Zukav
Last July, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and started chemotherapy. She asked me if I could stay and help her through her treatment.
Our relationship had always been tense – she was critical of my nomadic lifestyle and often spoke in a way that made me feel demoralized and belittled. As an empath, this criticism is especially hard to bear. I would be instantly shocked, like an injection of poisonous venom coursing through my veins, triggering an overwhelming desire to jump on the next flight out of the United States.
However, this time, things have changed. I plucked up the courage to tell her how her judgmental tone affected me. To my surprise, she listened, apologized, and asked me to help change. She even expressed regret for not understanding earlier how hurtful her words were to me. This was the beginning of a miraculous transformation, not only in our relationship, but in her health.
A few months into chemotherapy, my mother had a severe reaction and decided to stop all medication. Instead, she switched to a healthier lifestyle. She adopted a nutritious diet, started swimming at 6 a.m. every day, and lost 50 pounds. Most importantly, she begins to forgive her past, which allows her to fully embrace her present.
At eighty-three, my mother is changing in ways I never imagined.
We recently returned from a two-week scuba diving and snorkeling trip in the Maldives, where she swam with whale sharks and eagle rays, danced, and marveled at the stunning turquoise waters. She had the best time of her life and I saw the life-changing impact of the sea in the light in her eyes.
Throughout the entire trip, she didn’t watch any TV and instead thanked me for sharing my love of the ocean with her. Her newfound appreciation for life is a beautiful and magical gift. She was happy, energetic, looked twenty years younger, and for the first time in my life, she showed respect and appreciation for my life choices.
I remained calm during this time, which is a testament to the spiritual practices I developed as an empath. I stayed grounded and sane, which allowed me to support her without losing myself in the process.
This experience taught me valuable lessons about healing, not only for my mother, but for our relationship as well. Looking back on this journey, I realize how much we have all grown. My mother once said that I came back to help her die, but she learned how to truly live. This shift is a powerful reminder that we all have resilience and strength, especially when we embrace our sensitivities and learn how to speak our truth.
Lessons learned on my path
Honest communication can transform relationships.
I’ve learned to never think that sharing my true feelings is pointless because you never know how they will be received.
Open and genuine communication was the key to changing my relationship with my mother. When I finally expressed the impact her words had on me, it opened the door to healing and understanding.
Change is always possible.
Know that it is never too late to change or create change in a relationship.
My mother’s transformation at the age of eighty-three is a testament to the fact that we are never too old to grow, heal, and embrace new ways of living. Her experience taught me that no matter where we are in life, change is always possible.
Our energy can have a profound impact on our interactions.
Recognizing that the energy I bring to an interaction affects how the other person interacts with me is another game changer. By staying calm and grounded, I was able to support my mother without losing myself in the process. This shift in energy makes our interactions more positive and constructive.
One practice that has helped me is Ho’oponopono (Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness), which consists of four parts: I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and I love you.
Ho’oponopono works on the basis that any energy I experience can in some way be a mirror of my own energy. My focus is on actively taking responsibility for myself (whether I realize it or not).
This helps me proactively take responsibility for the situation and clean up my side of the street. It helps me start from a place of humility and empowerment, taking responsibility for what I bring to the table. This is a powerful practice that can completely change the dynamics of relationships and situations.
It is crucial for empaths to discern which energy is our own.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is how to differentiate between my energy and the energy of others. As an empath, it’s easy to absorb the emotions, thoughts, and energies of those around you, often confusing them with your own. This can be overwhelming and disorienting.
It was especially challenging being around my mother, who is an anxious person. Before, I would sense that her anxiety, like my own, was particularly triggering. Through my spiritual practice and study, I have gained a greater awareness of my inner state.
I started by paying close attention to how I felt and felt, learning to recognize what was intrinsically mine. Meditation plays an important role in this process. By sitting quietly and observing my thoughts and emotions without attachment, I can discern subtle differences between my own energy and external influences. I also do grounding exercises, which help me stay connected to my body and the present moment, making it easier for me to discern external energies.
Energy Clearing is a game changer.
Clearing my energy is crucial to maintaining my health. I have found several techniques that have been extremely valuable in releasing unwanted energy and restoring my natural state.
I use intention and release energy that I may have absorbed that is not mine, replacing it with high frequency energy. Then, after I intend to clear and purify my body, I call all the energy back into my body.
I cleanse myself and my space with the sacred sounds of Tibetan bowls and smudge with sage or palo santo, which makes me feel refreshed.
I think of clearing energy like brushing your teeth. I do this several times a day and it only takes a few minutes.
Another effective method is to use visualization. I imagined a bright light surrounding me, washing away any negative or extraneous energy. Beyond the lights, I imagined a disco ball with mirrors reflecting other people’s energy.
Breathing also becomes a powerful tool for changing your life. Through deep, conscious, consistent breathing, I release tension, trauma, and stagnant energy in my body. Every inhale brings fresh, energizing energy, and every exhale expels anything that isn’t serving me.
There is a mental routine that keeps us focused.
Establishing a daily spiritual routine is the cornerstone of maintaining a high vibration and clear mind. This routine includes a series of exercises that nourish my body, mind, and spirit, ensuring I start each day grounded and aligned.
My daily work includes:
- Morning Meditation: I start every day with twenty minutes of meditation. This sets a peaceful tone for the day and helps me connect with my inner self before engaging with the outside world.
- Yoga exercises: Incorporating yoga into my morning routine helps me stay physically flexible and mentally focused. The combination of movement and breathing balances my energy and increases my mindfulness.
- journal: After meditating, I take time to journal. This exercise allows me to process my thoughts and emotions, gain insight, and set goals for the day. It’s a way for me to clear my mind and focus on what’s really important.
- Affirmation, Intention and Gratitude: Positive affirmations, intentions, and gratitude practices lift my spirits and reinforce a positive mindset. By acknowledging the things I am grateful for and affirming my strengths, I cultivate a sense of abundance and joy. I was determined to stay calm with my mother during the trip, and it worked!
- Natural connection: Spending time in nature, even just for a short walk, helps me stay grounded.
These practices are integrated into my daily life and create a framework that supports living an empowered life as an empath. They help me stay focused, clear, and resilient, allowing me to see my sensitivity as a gift rather than a burden.
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Thinking back on my journey with my mother, I am reminded of how far we have come. Our relationship, once tense and full of misunderstandings, has transformed into a beautiful, mutually supportive one.
The courage to share true feelings and the willingness to engage with calm, grounded energy are key to this transformation. My mother’s ability to change and embrace a new way of life at the age of eighty-three showed me that it is never too late to grow and heal.
By sharing these lessons, I hope to inspire fellow empaths to embrace their sensitivities and develop practices that nurture their unique gifts. If understood and managed properly, sensitivity can be a profound source of strength and connection with those around us.
About Polly Green
Polly Green is an empathy coach, facilitator, energy alchemist, and medium who helps empaths gain confidence as they clear energy and navigate the spirit world. If you are an awakening female empath who is struggling with your own sensitivity, she would love to connect with you. Polly is working on an important study and I’d love the opportunity to ask you some questions over a quick Zoom call. Make a spot on her calendar, visit her website , and follow on Instagram ( here / here ), Facebook ( here / here ), and YouTube. You can find her free guide here.
