“I discovered beauty in the whimsical ordinary.” ~Elissa Gregoire
The general message of our time asserts that success is crucial, whether in education, career, friendship or relationships. In the unremitting pursuit of success, many of us work hard and firmly believe that victory is the gateway to happiness.
Back to my thirty years of ten years, the focus was on being excellent in school. Family, teachers and even movies emphasize the narrative that good grades are equivalent to happiness.
The equation is simple: good grades lead to excellent work, financial stability, good partners and happiness. I stick to this formula, except when I was temporarily rebellious in college, instant fun was more important than grades. Soon, I recalibrated the focus.
To review, I hope I could have suggested that my young self would not guarantee success or direct excellent work, but more importantly, a life of satisfaction.
I don’t regret finding this problem later. However, I could have kept myself unnecessary pressure on a single b-, thinking it showed the demise of my promising future.
In my career, I worked as a good job as a social worker. While financial rewards are modest, I’ve been helping people and I’ve always wanted to do it.
I gain happiness from helping people, as evidenced by my supervisor’s annual assessment. However, the reality of struggling with adults with mental health and substance abuse issues challenges traditional signs of success. The transformation I envisioned for my clients has not been implemented on a large scale. Only two clients graduated from high school and found a job within three years, which was my relatively meager scoring rate.
After a brief period as a social worker, I delved into my passion for writing. This work proved to be one of the most frustrating professional experiences. The number of people who rejected it exceeded anyone I had faced before.
Despite the setbacks, I remain resilient and realize that writing success often depends on probability and luck. I am determined not to give up on my pursuit of writing because I have the confidence that perseverance will eventually lean towards odds that are favorable to me. It’s just a matter of time.
Although the top leaders may have expressed their dissatisfaction, they were praised. The dichotomy of rejection and acceptance raises the question of whether a success outweighs many failures. Does public recognition invalidate personal frustration?
Friendship flourished until I was in my thirties, but when I moved to Indiana they went through a transformation. Maintaining a group of friends beforehand success reduced me, but I longed for no deep connection. Whether it was due to the pandemic, my age or my location, I had my first failure in forming a meaningful friendship.
Looking at various areas of my life, I took a path to moderate success.
I lingered between not being outstanding and not staggering on a large scale, falling into a comfortable average. The pressure to outweigh those around me is always there, but I have realized the futility of never-ending comparisons. Working to be great is admirable, but it can cause overwhelming stress and overwork.
Staying average doesn’t mean I’m lazy or have no goals. I know some people are always better than me, and some are not that skilled. But being the best person doesn’t necessarily mean I always feel stressed.
Ultimately, my journey has been one of those that navigate the middle ground and avoid extremes. I haven’t reached a height yet, but I’m satisfied with the average. Whether it is education, career, friendship or writing, those who pursue excellence should coexist with accepting personal authenticity and avoid the trap of constant comparison and overbearing expectations.
Contrary to social conditions, average is not undesirable. The happiest people often live their daily lives, enjoying time with their family and friends without having to constantly pursue fame or wealth.
Choosing a simpler life instead of constant competition makes me happier.
There are only ordinary and peaceful things. However, it seems that everyone is always trying to “more”. Why, when true happiness stems from appreciating what we have and ignoring the pressure of always working for something bigger?
Are there any conclusions that continue to pursue transcendence to others? I don’t think so.
Forty years later, I am very satisfied with my identity and position. I no longer get entangled in the network of comparison networks or pursuits of others, I find happiness in my current position.
I used to feel like I had to be better than everyone else, but the pressure is gone now. I feel more relaxed and peaceful, and I never feel that way when constantly trying to be the best person. I am happy with where I am now and I love learning what interests me. I love this new sense of peace and thank you for helping me eventually accept my experience. I was finally in a place of true self-acceptance.
About Anjana Rajbhandary
Anjana Rajbhandary is an Ayurvedic health teacher and has gained a mental health professional who is passionate about overall wellness. When she is not writing or teaching, you can find her exploring new culture, enjoy live music, or spending a great time with her beloved rescue puppy, Sloane. Visit her on anjyrajy.com via Medium and Instagram.
