A Palo Alto city councilman and New York Times best-selling author has apologized for admitting to a romantic relationship she had with an undergraduate student more than a decade ago when she was dean at Stanford University.
In an article posted online last week titled “I had an affair with my college dean,” an alumna detailed her relationship with Julie Liscott Himes as an undergraduate. The injuries suffered, although she did not identify Liscott Himes in the article. But after the article was published, the board member said she was approached by a reporter asking if she was the unnamed dean, prompting her to write a public apology for the harm she had caused. Lyscott-Haims said she personally apologized to the former student years ago.
“While I have no authority over her grades or academic standing at the university, having a relationship with a student would have been inappropriate thirteen years ago and would be inappropriate now,” Liscot-Haims writes in the book wrote. “I shouldn’t have gone any further.”
Palo Alto Online first reported the connection between the council members and former students’ online papers.
In the alumna’s essay, she writes that when she was 22, she “had an affair with a prominent dean of my university—a married woman twice my age.”
The dean “should have known better. However, I have agency,” she wrote, explaining that there was no clear issue of consent. This article was published on Autostraddle, a digital publication focused on LGBTQ+ issues. The Times is not naming the author because she made the grooming allegation.
“She showed poor judgment. I made the wrong choice,” the woman wrote. “She abused her power.”
“Suddenly, words like manipulation and abuse of power were being used, and shame began to solidify in the part of me that longed for her—huge embarrassment—because I began to see my great love through a completely different lens. Story,” the author writes looking back on their romance.
Lythcott-Haims served as Stanford’s dean of freshmen for 10 years before resigning in 2012 — after parents reported the relationship, the former student said.
However, Lyscott-Haims publicly stated that she instead pursued a master’s degree in fine arts and went on to write several books, including the New York Times bestseller “How to Raise an Adult.”
“I would like to publicly apologize to her for my actions and the impact it had on her,” Liscott-Haims’ statement said. “I also apologize to my former colleagues and students who had every right to hold me accountable. Better expectations. It can be difficult for members of my extended family to come out about this.
The alumna’s article said Liscott-Haims’ husband knew about and approved of their relationship.
“I am grateful for the support of my wonderful partner and our adult children and the grace given to me along the way,” Lyscott-Haims wrote.
