Ella Seaver shares her thoughts on graduating from high school with other survivors of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting before a rally against gun violence, Friday, June 7, 2024, in Newtown, Conn. idea.
Brian Woolston/AP
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Brian Woolston/AP
NEWTOWN, Conn. — Like graduating seniors everywhere, Newtown High School’s Class of 2024 is looking forward to a bittersweet feeling at graduation — excitement about entering college or a career. , and sadness at leaving friends and community behind.
But about 60 of the 330 students graduating Wednesday will also carry the emotional burden of being survivors of one of the deadliest school shootings in U.S. history, and knowing that many of their former classmates will not be able to walk with them Podium. On December 14, 2012, 20 first-grade students and six educators at Sandy Hook Elementary School were killed.
Tributes will be paid to the victims during the ceremony, but details remain confidential.
Soon, these Sandy Hook survivors will leave the community that many call the “bubble” because it provides the comfort and protection of the outside world. Five of them sat down with The Associated Press to discuss their graduation, future plans and how the tragedy continues to impact their lives.
“They will be with us”
“I think we’re all really excited about this day,” said Lilly Wasilnak, 17, who was in the classroom where her peers were killed. “But I think we can’t forget that… there’s a big part of our class that’s missing. So, as we graduate, it’s a lot of mixed emotions for all of us – trying to be excited about ourselves and what we’ve accomplished and that’s really important. It’s so difficult for those who should be able to share with us but can’t.
Emma Ehrens is one of 11 surviving children from Classroom 10. She and other students managed to flee when the gunman stopped to reload, with another student, Jesse Lewis, yelling for everyone to run. Jesse didn’t make it. Five children and two teachers in the room were killed.
“I definitely have mixed feelings,” Ellens, 17, said. Crossing that stage…I think they’re going to cross that stage with us.
Grace Fischer, 18, was in the classroom with Ella Seaver and Wasilnak after the killings. With only 11 days left until Christmas, the school is in a festive mood and the children are looking forward to making gingerbread houses that day.
“As hard as we try to have a normal childhood and a normal high school experience, it’s not completely normal,” Fisher said. “But even though we’re missing out on…a large portion of our class, like Lily said, We still have to graduate…we want to be those regular teenagers who walked across the stage that day and felt, like, a sense of celebration within us knowing that we’d made it this far.
Leaving home and the “bubble”
Many survivors said they still carry the trauma of the day: Loud noises still make them jump out of their seats, and some always keep an eye out for the room’s exit. Many people spend years dealing with post-traumatic stress, depression and anxiety.
The town provides a range of services to these families. Officials shielded them from the media and outsiders as much as possible, and students said leaving such a protected community was both difficult and somewhat liberating.
“What happened at Sandy Hook is always fresh in our minds,” said Matt Holden, 17, who was in a classroom after the shooting. “I think being away and being able to create new memories and meet new people, even though we’ll be more removed from people who have stories like ours, we’ll be freer to write our own stories… you know, Don’t let this one event that happened because we were young define our lives.
Ellens said she was a little anxious about leaving Newtown, but it was a necessary step to begin the next chapter of her life.
“I do feel like we’re stuck in the same system we’ve been stuck in for the last 12 years,” she said.
“For me, I feel like it’s definitely going to get better, to be able to get out of the system and be able to be myself and not be a kid from Sandy Hook again,” Irons said.
Fisher echoed those sentiments, saying that while it will be difficult to leave the small town and the friends she grew up with, she will make new friends and build a new community as she explores new challenges in college.
“Sandy Hook will always be with me,” she said.
Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting survivor Emma Ellens (center) speaks at a rally against gun violence with other survivors, Friday, June 7, 2024, in Newtown, Connecticut.
Bryan Woolston/AP
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Tragedy inspires activism, shapes their future
All five seniors are active in the Junior Newtown Action League and its anti-gun violence work, saying they want to prevent shootings through gun control and other measures. Some of them met with Vice President Kamala Harris at the White House last week to discuss their experiences and call for change.
They say their fallen classmates inspired their advocacy, which they both plan to continue after high school.
Seaver, 18, said working with the coalition has helped her no longer feel helpless. She plans to study psychology in college and become a therapist, hoping to give back to the community in a way that helps her.
“For me to use my voice and work with all these amazing people to create change really makes sense of the trauma that we’re all forced to go through,” Seaver said. “It’s a feeling that you’re doing something. way. Because that’s who we are. We’re fighting for change and we won’t stop until we make it happen.”
Ellens said she plans to study political science and law with the goal of becoming a politician or a civil rights lawyer.
Fisher said she also hopes to become a civil rights attorney.
Holden plans to major in political science and hopes to promote changes in gun policy.
Vasilnak, meanwhile, said she has yet to decide on a major but plans to continue speaking out against gun violence.
“For me, when tragedy first happened, I knew I wanted to do more,” Vasilnak said. “I wanted to turn such a terrible thing into something even more terrible, so that these kids and educators wouldn’t die in vain. Of course, what happened to them was terrible, and it shouldn’t have happened. But I think for me Something bigger needs to come out of it, otherwise it will all be meaningless.
