“If you don’t give your mind and body a break, you’re going to break. Stop exposing yourself to pain and exhaustion and take care of your own needs. ~ Lori Deschene
I passed out while fishing that night, but luckily I didn’t fall headfirst into the water.
It was April 2018, a few weeks before my fiftieth birthday, and after get off work I decided to walk to the local pond and spend the rest of the day fishing.
But after a while, I started to feel hot and a little dizzy, and then the lights went out. I only blacked out for a second, but it was long enough to fall to the ground, which left me shaking with fear.
Over the next few months, doctors conducted a series of tests to determine what might have caused the incident. Finding nothing to explain my collapse, my primary care physician began questioning me about my lifestyle habits.
She asked me to describe a typical week.
I told her I get up early Monday through Friday, go to work at 8am, and get home around 7pm, except when I visit my mom in the nursing home at night; and then I get home around 9pm, unless she’s in the hospital again, and then more late. I was her health care power of attorney, so when she went to the hospital, I was always there.
On Saturday, I wake up early, do my weekly chores, and get as much done as possible before dinner time. Then, I would eat, watch a few hours of TV, and go to bed.
On Sundays, I would get up early to finish housework and errands, then go to the nursing home again in the afternoon to visit my mom and have dinner with her, and I would usually be back around 7pm and then have a few hours of rest. While doing some last minute laundry and heading to bed.
She asked me how often I take vacations.
My answer surprised me because I’d never thought about it before, but I haven’t taken a vacation in the last five years (or so). All the vacation and personal time I accrued from work was either spent accompanying my mom to doctor’s appointments and the hospital, or I was sick myself.
She asked me about my hobbies and what I did.
I said I’d love to go fishing for an hour or so if time allowed, but other than that, there’s really nothing else going on in my life. Honestly, this is a pretty humiliating and embarrassing admission.
She asked about my eating and exercise habits.
My answer surprised me again: I exercised next to zero, and I ate mostly based on cravings and convenience, which often included lots of sugar and fat. Not to mention, I drink coffee all day long at work and at home.
Her delivery was polite, but her tone was stern as she explained the problem and solution.
Her assessment of the breakdown I experienced had less to do with that event and more to do with my current lifestyle being beyond my mental and physical abilities.
She continued that my overall physical and mental health had declined due to years of neglect. These abilities need to be re-established, which requires my willpower and time to allow nature to take its course and heal what is broken.
She started listing all of my problems, which included being overweight, having high blood pressure and bad blood tests, as well as feeling stressed and tired all the time.
I needed to start a daily regimen that included a nutritious diet and daily exercise. This doesn’t surprise me.
I was surprised when she said I needed to schedule more time into my week for personal hobbies and activities, as well as more quiet time and breaks into my daily life, because both can help in different but important ways Our minds and bodies heal.
I nodded in agreement, which is what I did for the first few days, but then the train derailed.
Life happened, as it tends to do, and I fell back into my old unhealthy ways. Instead of following my doctor’s advice, I started centering myself around work, being a mom, and doing housework again.
I felt tired, exhausted, and unhealthy all the time, but I stubbornly forced myself to get through each day, somehow thinking (or maybe just hoping) that tomorrow would be better.
Fast forward about a year and a half, COVID hit, and like everyone else, it added stress to my already over-stressed life.
My mind and body were not responding well.
From that point on, I began to develop anxiety issues, with associated panic attacks so severe that I was hospitalized multiple times over the next few months. The attacks became so repetitive that I began to have difficulty leaving the house and going to work. Eventually, I had trouble even going to the grocery store.
I can’t believe I was so scared of these attacks that I couldn’t even leave my house to buy groceries.
This was a low point for me. In fact, it is the lowest.
During this time, my doctor told me point blank that I needed to control my lifestyle or start taking some medication to treat this.
As a related backstory, she knew I didn’t want to take medication. I’ve suffered from depression most of my adult life (which, of course, exacerbated it all) and at one point took medication to manage it. It took me several years to get this problem under control and I was so happy when I was able to stop taking it that I vowed I would never take it again (or at least it would be a last resort).
She reiterated to me that with some time and drastic lifestyle changes, this might be solvable. I need to stop doing so many things every day, get more rest, learn to pay attention to what my mind and body need, and then make sure to provide those things so I can start to recover and get back to health.
So I started prioritizing my health and wellness.
First, I slowed down and started working fewer hours while focusing on staying productive. I was able to do this mostly because I stopped micromanaging people as much as I used to and spent less time with distractions like socializing at the water cooler.
I started prioritizing my health by eating clean food and exercising daily.
I became a student of mindfulness, listening to what my body and mind needed and providing it every day. I try to be a positive thinker and focus on my own path and stop focusing on others.
My life became more me-centered and I was stingy with my time.
I pursue the things that make me happy and eliminate the things that don’t. I spent less time on social media, reading, and watching the news, and instead used this space to spend quiet time. I learned to use breathing exercises and simple stretching techniques to develop a positive mindset.
Instead of rushing through multitasking and trying to see how much I can get done, I focus on what needs to be done, ignore the rest, and do one thing at a time.
I now take a break between tasks.
Most importantly, I started with small, realistic lifestyle changes, making just one or two new changes every day. This approach helps me maintain consistency while continuing to improve and progress over the coming days, weeks, months, and years.
In October 2020, I was over seventy pounds overweight, had high blood pressure and bad blood tests, and had a hard time leaving the house to get groceries out of fear of anxiety-induced panic attacks.
In February 2022, I lost 75 pounds, my blood work was perfect, my blood pressure and anxiety were gone, and leaving the house was no longer an issue.
I healed (and then some).
At that point, I sold everything that didn’t fit into my (very nice) backpack. Now, I’m slowly traveling full-time across Asia as a digital nomad and starting a new career as a freelance writer.
I share this journey with you for three reasons.
First, as quoted at the beginning of the article, if you don’t take care of your mind and body, the collective “you” will eventually break down. We are all very different, so results will vary, but small problems left unchecked now can turn into bigger problems that are harder to fix later.
Secondly, if this does happen, don’t panic. Just visit your doctor to get the professional assistance you need. Chances are, you just need to make some lifestyle changes to turn things around. Our minds and bodies have amazing healing abilities; we just have to understand their needs and provide for them every day.
Third, here’s an amazing life lesson for me in all of this: When you learn to be mindful of giving your body and mind what it needs, you develop an amazingly rewarding lifestyle.
This is because the process involves prioritizing what you need and what is important to you, and choosing not to care about everything else because it distracts you. This provides ample space for rest, quiet time, and everything else that replenishes and nourishes the essential elements of your life, rather than depleting and depriving them of them.
What’s left is a life filled only with the things you value and need, and I must say, it’s pretty awesome.
So don’t wait until things escalate and hit you like a ton of bricks before you take action.
Be mindful and aware of signs that you are not feeling well mentally or physically along the way, then slow down and address these issues before moving forward.
