“There is no right or wrong decision, only choice.” ~Sanhita Baruah
When I was young, everything felt simple. not necessarily Simplebut in a sense, there is always the next step. A clear direction. The right way to do things.
If I learn, I will pass the test. If I practice, I will get better in my exercise. If I follow the rules, I will keep track. Life moves forward in a straight line, just like a ladder climbing up a ladder – one foot is up and down again.
I didn’t question this structure because that’s what I know. To be honest? Consoling. The certainty of all this. As long as I do what I should do, things will be solved. The teacher distributed the syllabus early this year, neatly drawing what was about to happen. The coach has a game plan. Parents have advice. Even if things get tough, there is always a framework. The way forward.
I thought of how movies portray childhood memories – colors emerge to impossible brightness, a world rich and warm. Because when you are a kid, things get solid. The rules make sense. The paths are arranged. You don’t realize that your life is decided for you, which makes things safe.
Then, at some point, everything disappeared. structure. guide. A sense of certainty. Suddenly, life stretches in front of you like a blank map, and you hold the pen, unsure what to draw.
That moment – you realize that no one handed you the next step – it was frightening. Because without a clear “right” choice, what prevents you from making mistakes?
Nothing changed. It happens gradually, like the end of a song fades away until you realize there is no music playing.
At first, I’ve been waiting for the structure to return. I think maybe adults have their own lesson plan and progress report, someone (anyone) will step in and give me a list of next work. But this never happened. Instead, I encountered a quiet quiet.
It’s no longer the next step for automaticity. No more guarantees.
With this silence, unexpected weight.
I started guessing for the second time. Not only are it major, obvious life decisions, but there are also small decisions every day.
Should I stay in my place or move? Go to do this or stick to something better? Am I wasting my time? Making the wrong choice? I shouldn’t Know what to do?
That’s when I realized it took me years to assume that every decision had the right answer. Life is a series of multiple choice questions and if I seem to work hard enough, I will find the right one. But now, it feels like I’m staring at a blank page, trying to write with a pen, afraid to mess it up.
No one told me how heavy the uncertainty might be.
The worst part? I’m beginning to believe have no idea It means I failed. If I don’t go in a clear direction, I must have done something wrong. I looked around and some people seemed to be very sure of their path – wondering why I couldn’t feel the same clarity.
But then I asked myself: What if they are as unsure as I do?
What if we just make up for it over time?
For so long, I think the goal is to figure it out Correct Small path. Do Correct choose. Avoid mistakes at all costs. But lately, I’m starting to wonder: What to do if there is no right choice? What if there is…option?
This problem should feel released, but for a long time it paralysed me.
I was so fascinated by doing the “right” move that I stopped moving altogether. Every choice feels like a risk. If I choose the wrong one, I will waste time, waste, and even waste several years. What if I pursue the wrong career? Moving to the wrong city? Invest in something that cannot be rewarded? Each road has its unknowns, instead of choosing a road, standing still and overthinking all possibilities.
And the longer I stand, the harder it is to take any action.
I convince myself Not decided Better than making a wrong decision. Staying in the right place is safer than walking in the wrong direction. But that’s what’s waiting for-no change. Fear will not disappear. The answer won’t magically appear. You just sit in the same uncertainty and hope that clarity has never been fully achieved.
At some point, I had to ask myself: What if I wasn’t sure, the only way forward was to move? If the worst result is not selected, but Never choose?
So maybe the next thing is not the “right” thing. Maybe it’s just something. step. choose. sports.
Maybe it’s enough.
At some point, I realized that life is not black and white, but not gray either. Gray means balance and is an extremely predictable combination. Stable stuff. But this is not the feeling of life. Life is more like an off-white – uncertain, shifting, depending on the light.
I used to think that uncertainty could be solved. One problem needs to be solved. But what if uncertainty is not the enemy? What if this is just a part of living?
The truth is, I don’t know if I’ll be 100% sure of anything. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe I don’t need Know. Perhaps the key is not to eliminate doubts, but to learn how to exist with it. Accept I can move forward without any answers.
Sometimes, it is easier said than done. In those days, I reminded myself:
- Not knowing doesn’t mean I’m lost. Just because I can’t see the complete road doesn’t mean I’m not on the same road.
- No decision is the final decision. Even if something doesn’t work out, I can pivot. I can start over. I can change my mind.
- No one else figured it out. Some people are good at pretending.
- Waiting for clarity does not bring clarity. The only way to find out what works is try something. Anything.
I used to think that self-confidence means being sure of everything. Now, I think that means uncertainty can.
Life is never neat or obvious. It never fits into the clear category of right and wrong. But this may be its beauty – maybe life should have lived among white people.
I recall all the times when I was suffering for a decision, and firmly believe that a wrong move would ruin everything. I stressed that I overanalyzed and I played all the worst scenes in my head. However, when I look back now, most of the choices (whether they are correct or not) are not the weight they once carried.
Some things I’m worried about It doesn’t matter at all. Other things didn’t go as far as I expected, but they still lead me to make sense. The most surprising part? What I call “mistake” is ultimately the best thing that has happened to me.
At that time, I didn’t see it like this. At that time, I firmly believed that my turn was wrong. But looking back, I can see that every decision (good thing, bad, uncertainty) forms me.
I’m doing a job because I think I have to do it? What it taught me No think.
An opportunity that I rejected out of fear? It made me realize that I needed to be brave.
I used to think of it as a mistake is really just a step – part of the path, part of it.
I wondered about the choice I had now had a painful time and in a few years I would see different choices. I wonder if I would laugh at my overthinking of things, how I was afraid to get it wrong when everything was showing the way it needed.
This makes me think: If I want to look back one day, see that everything is solved one way or anotherso why don’t you believe it now? Why not give up some pressure?
Maybe I don’t need to know if I’m making the perfect decision. Maybe I just need to do it one Decide and believe I will figure out the rest along the way.
I used to believe that one day I would wake up, just Know. This clarity will arrive like a neat package – here your answer is your direction, which is the certainty you have been waiting for.
But it never came that day.
I don’t think it will never be.
Because life doesn’t work. There is no strange moment, everything can be clicked into place. There is no guarantee that the path we are taking is the path we are going to take. Without the confirmation of the universe, we are doing our whole life correct.
Maybe this is not a bad thing.
Maybe the goal is not to figure it out. Maybe the goal is to be comfortable no knowing. Fight against ambiguity rather than against it. Stop seeing life as solving problems and start seeing it as something you can experience.
So, what if I don’t know what’s next? So, what if I don’t have a perfect plan? I’m still here. I’m still moving. I’m still learning.
Maybe it’s enough. perhaps I am Enough. Now. In the middle of uncertainty. In the middle of chaos. In the middle of off-white.
About Kyle Hughes
Kyle Hughes is a banker, entrepreneur and creatively committed to promoting prosperity through finance, business and psychology. He is from North Texas and Southeast Oklahoma, and he is committed to investing in businesses and communities to help the area thrive. As the founder of Visionary Group LLC, he uses strategy and innovation to create opportunities for sustainable growth. Kyle shares insights on business, finance and intentional life on kylehughesofficial.com.
