“Never let fear that you’re not good enough stop you from trying new things. If you’re not willing to do your worst first and then allow yourself to learn and grow, you’ll never get the chance to do your best work. ~Lori Deschenet
“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked my mother for the third time during lunch.
She sighed, put down her fork, and said something that still haunts me: “I’m used to competing with your phone for your attention.”
I looked down at my phone, Instagram still glowing, and saw myself through her eyes: a twenty-nine-year-old man more interested in the lives of strangers than the stories of his own mother.
I am not alone in this struggle.
Research shows that the average person spends two and a half hours on social media every day, and 210 million people worldwide are believed to suffer from social media addiction.
But statistics didn’t matter to me until I saw how my addiction was ruining my life.
How my freelancing dream almost died on my social media feeds
My freelance business is falling apart, one volume at a time. What started out as “just checking social networks on Twitter” turned into a daily nightmare of missed deadlines and disappointing clients.
One morning, I opened my inbox to find three separate messages from clients asking about overdue projects. Am I overpromising or mismanaging my time?
The truth is painful: I spent too much time on LinkedIn digesting the “success stories” of other freelancers and no time creating my own work.
My portfolio website went untouched for months while I was obsessed with other people’s perfectly curated project presentations.
A long-time client promised to recommend me to his network, but after I delivered their project a week late, he quietly stopped responding to my emails.
What was supposed to be a three-hour focused project stretched to two days, leaving me restless, full of anxiety and self-doubt.
Face the real person behind the screen
After losing an important client because he “didn’t meet expectations,” I was forced to face an uncomfortable truth: social media wasn’t my problem, it was my symptom.
I use highlights from other freelancers as a form of self-sabotage.
Every “work harder” and “how I made $10,741 last month” post becomes an excuse to remain paralyzed in comparison mode.
I don’t spend hours researching other freelancers’ portfolios instead of pitching new clients. Instead of improving my skills, I was scrolling through Twitter posts promising “ten secrets to six-figure freelancing.”
The harder truth?
My addiction to social media masked a deeper fear: the fear of actually putting myself out there and risking real failure. It’s easier to experience someone else’s success story than to write your own.
Whenever I feel anxious about a deadline approaching, or unsure about approaching a new client, I reach for my phone. Temporarily escaping scrolling has become my security blanket.
Some numbers set off alarm bells for me that I couldn’t ignore: I’ve spent 458 hours on social media in the past three months, which is enough time to complete a skills boot camp, start writing a book, or earn several new professional certifications .
Instead, I had nothing to show for these hours other than a deep understanding of strangers’ business journeys.
Build a new foundation
My initial changes were small but important:
- I move my phone to another room during work hours.
- I created a “Fear List” of things I really avoid when I’m on social media.
- I set up website blockers during designated deep work hours.
- I created a morning routine that started with action, not consumption.
The most powerful change was implementing what I call the “create before spending” rule: I wasn’t allowed to check any social media until I’d created something of value that day—whether it was client work, improving my skills, or building My own career.
Every time I want to check social media, I ask myself, “Am I using it as a tool, or am I using it as an escape?” The answer is uncomfortable, but transformative.
Nine times out of ten, I’m avoiding something important—a challenging project, a difficult client conversation, or a nagging feeling that I’m not living up to my potential.
The transition from passive consumer to active creator was not only about productivity, but also about rediscovering my identity as a professional.
Every dedicated hour becomes a small victory, and every completed project is proof of what I can accomplish when I’m no longer hiding behind a screen.
A thirty-day journey that changed everything
I decided to change my relationship with social media instead of avoiding it. First, I had to rewire my brain to stop associating every free moment with reaching for my phone.
Instead of mindlessly scrolling, I trained myself to stop and think about why I opened an app in the first place. Is it out of boredom, habit, or sincere intentions?
This is what happened during my thirty days of detox.
Week One: Physical Withdrawal
I started documenting the moment I reached for my phone.
One read: “Reaching for the phone forty-seven times before noon. Feeling empty, anxious. Why is it so scary to sit with your own thoughts?
Week 2: Rediscovering lost connections
I called my mom—actually called her, not just liked her Facebook post. We chatted for two hours. She told me stories about her childhood that I had never heard before. “This is the first real conversation we’ve had in years,” she said.
Week Three: Productivity Breakthrough
After weeks of being unmotivated, I found that I could do work in three hours that previously took me a full day.
My clients noticed the change. One of them even told me: “Well done! It’s obvious that whatever you are doing is working – keep it up!
Hearing this feedback reaffirms how powerful it is to take control of your digital habits.
Week 4: Find true happiness in self-development
The most profound changes occurred when I replaced mindless scrolling with conscious learning.
I committed to reading Deep Work by Cal Newport. The irony is not lost on me—I saved this book to my “to read” list a few months ago in between watching productivity TikTok and Instagram tutorials.
For the first time in years I experienced what it felt like to be truly focused.
I start every morning with two hours of non-stop studying. Instead of browsing LinkedIn success stories, I created content and completed my own projects.
Breaking Free: What Really Works
During my journey, I discovered some counterintuitive facts about breaking social media addiction:
1. “Cold turkey” does not work in the long term. Instead, create “social media time” and designate times when you allow yourself to check in on the platform.
2. Replace the virtual connection with a real connection. I now go on “coffee dates” with friends instead of chatting.
3. Practice mindful use: Before opening any social media app, I ask myself, “What am I looking for right now?” Often, it’s connection, validation, or escape from uncomfortable emotions.
4. Create first and consume later. I write or create in the morning instead of browsing other people’s creations.
an ongoing journey
Six months later, I still use social media, but with a twist.
I rebuilt relationships that I had almost lost.
Most importantly, I am living my life.
The real revelation is not that social media is inherently bad, but that we can easily lose ourselves in the virtual world while the real world passes us by.
