“Don’t underestimate the impact your words, actions, and energy can have on people. A small gesture can impact others in a bigger way than you imagine. ~ Kate Quatch
One thing we all share is the desire to leave a legacy. The desire to show that our lives have value, that we have achieved something, that we matter in some way.
We tend to focus on big accomplishments and pursue activities that will leave something tangible behind. Charitable donations, financial aid for future generations, artwork, statues, monuments, even headstones. But what if we could feel our impact in a simpler yet equally important way?
Many years ago I went through a pretty severe bout of depression. I had just turned thirty and my life was far from what I imagined. I was unhappy with my job, a series of bereavements left me unsettled, and my marriage ended a few years ago. I feel like a failure.
I was burning the candle at both ends, desperately looking for ways to feel happier, but if anything, I just felt worse. I felt worthless, inadequate, had no idea what my purpose was, and fell into a deep depression. I just want to sleep and not wake up.
It seems I have indeed hit rock bottom.
Luckily, I have the support of some good people around me and a little bit of strength, which shows that I’m not ready to stop living my life just yet. I focused on getting some help, and with the help of antidepressants, I was able to muster enough energy to start seeing a counselor and start working through the issues in my life.
This is not a quick fix. It took time and was an extremely painful process, but I persevered and over time, I was able to stop taking my antidepressants.
As I started to emerge from this fog of despair, I felt good enough to hang out with some friends. I met a girl I knew from school in a bar. We had a great time chatting. I hadn’t seen her in a few years, so there was a lot to talk about.
After a while, she told me that she wanted to thank me because I saved her life when she was a teenager. This surprised me; I had no idea what she was talking about.
She then went on to remind me that during that time she was going through a very difficult time and had attempted suicide. Many of her peers didn’t quite understand her, and she felt increasingly isolated.
She told me the turning point came when I sat next to her on the bus one day and chatted with her. We didn’t talk about anything in particular, but the mere act of me sitting next to her and being with her made her feel as though she had an ally. She came to the conclusion that if I hadn’t treated her well, she wouldn’t be here to be married and have two children.
I was surprised by this story. I remember hearing about her suicide attempt. People are talking about it. I remember how sad I felt at her despair. I don’t remember my simple act of sitting next to her, and even if I did, I wouldn’t have imagined it would have had such an impact on her.
As I thought about the profound meaning her story had to me, I found myself crying. It was such a gift to hear this when I felt so worthless. I told her how I was feeling and that I had been struggling with depression, and she just said, “Well, maybe you need to hear this from me.”
After that night, something inside me changed. On one level I was still struggling with this period of depression, but on another level I started to feel a different kind of feeling as I began to truly understand the impact our actions have on others. energy.
Until then, I might have been more focused on the power of negative actions and believed that only great gestures could have a positive impact. In fact, one of the factors that contributed to my melancholic state was a feeling of incompetence and powerlessness.
I reflected on how little action I needed to take in this situation. I didn’t do anything dramatic to help my classmate, we didn’t even discuss her situation, but according to her, just having someone by her side was enough.
Realizing the importance of this small gesture, the positive effects such a simple gesture can trigger, is inspiring, especially because in telling me this, she herself gave me a gift that could change me.
I have always been someone who enjoys helping others, but giving back has allowed me to focus on helping others in a more mindful way.
It inspired me to find a new job and made me feel more able to help others. I have more patience with older relatives because I realize how much brighter their days can be when someone comes to visit them or take them on a trip. It gives me the motivation to keep learning about myself and to understand more about my potential and impact.
Maybe you’re now waiting for me to tell you about the many things I’ve accomplished since then, but that’s not the story. My most important accomplishment is being compassionate, which is a work in progress.
It doesn’t always work. I still occasionally lose my temper or feel a little grumpy at times, but I try to be mindful of my actions because I know the impact it can have on others.
I’m not suggesting that you have to go out and find people in despair in order to save them. Sometimes, the smallest act, like smiling at another person when you pass them on the street, or showing understanding when a customer in front of you is very slow in front of you, can make a huge difference in their day.
We often don’t understand what’s going on in someone’s life, and it really doesn’t take much effort to be patient and kind.
Perhaps if we focused less on the lofty prestige of awards and recognition and more on small acts of kindness and compassion, we could begin to see the ripples of positive change our actions create. I think it’s a legacy worth leaving.
About Donna Clark
After twenty-five years working in process-driven jobs in finance, facilities management, and human resources, Donna decided to leave the world behind and focus on prioritizing her creative side. She has been creating art since she was a child, but is only now sharing her work on her newly launched blog. When she’s not writing, she spends her time traveling and connecting with people. Please visit her at dozywrites.com.