“Submit to what. Let go of what that is. What confidence will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti
The fifty-year-old feels like a milestone to celebrate, to remember yourself, to reflect on your fifty years of life and to embrace the journey forward.
For someone who never believed I deserved a fuss, respecting himself in this way felt like a profound change. I hope this celebration confirms that I am worth the effort and expense.
How do I envision this milestone? For women like me, she was born in 1975 at a similar stage of life. But one of the initial exciting thoughts turned into opportunities for surrender, growth and unexpected self-discovery.
Vision: Reflection, celebration and pampering retreat
This idea hit everyone of me immediately, clear and undeniable. Why not create a custom birthday retreat experience to mark milestones? The retreat is intimate, luxurious and restorative, and this space is where women can reflect and celebrate together.
I spent weeks researching, contacting the venue, and carefully considering every detail:
- Amazing eco-friendly venue that blends luxury with nature
- A favorite plant chef nourishes us
- Well-designed events designed to respect our personal and collective needs, including group birthday celebrations and opportunities for deep introspection work
The owner’s venue I found was a gem that went beyond my essential list, but it met with the owner of the truly accidental venue.
From our first conversation, we shared a quality that was both rooted and inspiring, and I knew I was going to find her. Our connection felt like a sign–I didn’t fully understand until a long time later.
I was happy to secure the date with my deposit and excitedly shared this beautiful product with others.
Every project has challenges, right?
Despite my enthusiasm, it doesn’t feel completely right. My friends and acquaintances reacted coldly. Cost and personal preferences are obstacles for some, while others simply don’t resonate with the idea.
From others, I received no compelling advice from the retreat. My self expresses contemplation of their comments, interpreting them as my ability and vision.
Apart from that, I had a bureaucratic problem and had to comply with the province’s retreat adjustment agency, which brought unexpected stress and complexity that I didn’t expect. Without classification, retreats will put me out of red.
However, I believe in my vision, or at least, I believe that I have this strong sense of alignment whenever I talk to the retreat owner.
After perseverance and more hours, I was able to solve compliance issues. I also revised the retreat to reduce attendee costs and expand the audience, including women born in 1974 and 1976, edit all marketing materials and cultivate everything.
After modification, I fired informally onto the circle again, this time…drum rolls, please…more cricket.
The moment of truth: let go or double it?
I know the retreat is magical for the right woman, but I’m considering canceling it anyway. Anyone at the Sales Retreat knows that this is no small matter. To achieve this, I need to spend more time, energy and financial situations – but something inside me just doesn’t want to.
When I really tuned to it, the idea of letting go and surrendering to the quiet message from my heart brought unexpected relief.
My self-whispers are the reason to keep going: prove the skeptic is wrong, justify the time and money I have invested, and prove that I can make it work. But my heart is quiet, and the lasting voice urges me to release it.
A gift for letting go
After weeks of introspection, I decided to cancel the retreat. It wasn’t easy – the pattern of shame and fear of failure surfaced and I had to really sit next to them. But as time goes by, I choose peace.
Since I’ve planned so far, I was able to redirect my deposit to the time I was attending the retreat at the same location – it was my own time.
This decision changed everything.
Retreat has opened up a new path in my journey to recovery, leading me to a puzzle that I have been trying to identify but have not yet understood. My deep connection with the retreat made sense in new ways. She was originally one of my guides and I will return to her retreat in the future.
A powerful study
My experience also highlights a growth area to seek my attention. Dedicating yourself is at the heart of what I do throughout my career. I keep working hard to enhance my ability to do the space for others.
I love this call so much that I get a lot of rewards, but I’ve realized that I’m still struggling with receiving. That is, receive without feeling the need to give back something. I also find it difficult to succumb to other people who care about me and take up space for me to make me my messy, human self.
The truth is, the purpose of the planning retreat is misleading. I’m sure I finally allowed myself to be celebrated, but I still feel like I have to make money by planning something for others. Yes, I will love it, but I will get it through dedication – it’s beautiful, but not the same.
By trusting my intuition and listening to my inner message-I don’t need to pursue this-I allow myself to let go. In doing so, I recognize the need to learn how to truly accept.
Is there any better way to mark my 50th year transition than learning this basic self-care skill?
My gains from the lessons of letting go
1. The value is found.
When you don’t “achiev” the results you intend to create, letting go will feel like you’re wasting time, money or energy, but if every experience comes with value, it won’t be wasted. In my case, I gained influential insights into the women I serve, learned how to carry out retreat regulations in the province, and met a key person on my path to recovery.
2. Trust your intuition.
Release control creates space for unexpected things: profound rehabilitation experiences and valuable clarity and guidance that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. My decision to cancel was not analytical – it was intuitive. But tilting this inner voice gave me something more meaningful than the original plan. I got what I knew inside of me, not what I needed.
3. Redeem the balance between donation and reception.
Let yourself receive the need to surrender. While providing space for others is very fulfilling, you can take care of yourself to fill a profound need that I have not yet fully acknowledged. As I entered this milestone year, I realized that true integrity comes from both sides of respect for the equation.
Believing in my heart and letting go is a constant practice for me, because for many women who socialize in a “repair” and “do” culture, such as the typical North American thing.
Remembering that the gift of trust is a deeper understanding of what I really need for the next stage. Sometimes the most powerful way to meet our needs is to stop working hard, just to get yourself the wisdom of others, and our own intuitive wisdom.
About Natasha Ramlall
Natasha Ramlall is a traumatized mind health practitioner. She helps individuals see their pain in a new way, making them an evolutionary level of mental and physical health, overall and healing. To learn more or work with her, visit HandoistCoaching.ca to let her free audio release past, a combination of 24 minutes of visualization, mindfulness and hypnosis. When you have one of those days, restore your nervous system to balance.
