“Happiness is not ready. It comes from your own actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
A few months ago, I was caught on the unfortunate network.
In those months, it looks the same every morning. I would open my eyes, sighing pain, sitting on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, and preparing psychologically. All my inner energy rarely stands up, this day.
Although I have been on for several months, but due to severe anxiety, I walked for a long time. I have experienced mild anxiety here and there, but serious anxiety is a distant memory and feeling.
I felt unhappy for about a few months, my thoughts began to breed and scattered, my chin tightened, my breathing was light, and my hands were trembling and my body was heavy.
One morning, I feel that peace is often different. I still sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, but this time, I feel dizzy and disgusting. I know I am not good. I think I really need one day to be simple yes And do nothing, so I am sick. However, that day, distant memory and serious anxiety felt closer than ever.
In the first half of the day, I found that I was in the entire house-downstairs, downstairs and front terraces. I tried to get rid of anxiety through cleaning, laundering, cooking and rolling on social media.
What I don’t need to do is to do anything that will scattered my psychology and physical pain and anxiety.
Then, one day, I went upstairs to put down the clean laundry. When I returned downstairs, I felt the impulse to sit in one step in the middle of the stairs. There. Severe anxiety attacks gradually spread to the surface and eventually released. My heart rate has increased. My lips trembled. I lost a tear, then two, and then countless. I cried painfully.
I stretched out my arms, raised my hands, “Please”, begging the universe to get rid of my psychological pain.
After about fifteen minutes, anxiety disappeared, but I stayed in another thirty minutes. At the rest of my time, I stared at the steps with a blank mind.
In the next few days, I feel hopeless than unhappy. I dragged myself into the whole day. The only thing I look forward to is at night, I can lie on the bed without having to do anything. This is the highlight of my life, because I feel hidden in bed safely, silence and darkness.
A few days later, when I unloaded the dishwasher, my husband walked into the kitchen and said, “There is something wrong in the universe.”
This is a way we try to figure out why another person is unable to fully master the other party’s feelings and reasons.
When I continued to remove the dishwasher, I replied, “I’m fine.”
He asked me to face him, but I kept looking down, and he said further, “You have been okay for a while.”
I kept quiet for a minute, and then looked up at him and answered, “Yes, I have been … I don’t know why.”
He hugged me immediately.
At first, I still felt desperate, and I didn’t take him back. But after a few minutes, I started to feel even more unhappy. Before I cried, my eyes watered a lot and hugged my husband as tight as possible.
He said, “It’s okay; let go.”
I collect myself and lean on the dishwasher.
My husband held my hand and asked, “Why are you not happy?”
This is the first time I have considered it for a few months, not just feeling it.
I said, “I’m just tired. I feel drainage. I go to work, cook, clean and repeat. Is this life?” Is this life? “
He replied: “It seems you have not nourished your soul.”
I am very quiet.
When he continued to hold my hand, we looked at each other for a while.
I said, “Thank you, dear.” When I could hug him as I could.
What he said is everything I need to hear to realize that he is in a survival mode. I don’t give priority to considering what will stimulate my happiness, what can help me flourish, and what nourish my soul. I let my survival prefer to prosper.
I like to find and try new dessert recipes. I like to browse in bookstores and reading. I like to write and share personal thinking, fictional stories and exciting suggestions. I like to spend time outdoors, especially surrounded by nature. I like to travel to visit my family, my family is six hours from the place where I live. I like to go out with my husband and dog.
However, in the past few months, I did nothing.
I have been working, consumed me in the daily work of cooking and cleaning. I was trapped in a cycle where I only and helped me survive.
My misfortune is just a soul, inner light, joy, love and peace’s home, crying for nutrition.
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For many of us, the unfortunate feeling is common.
Usually, when we talk to others about our dissatisfaction, it is difficult to determine the reason. Typical response does not help us to find out this. People said, “You should be glad that there is a roof and food on your head.” Or, “You should be glad that you are better than others in the world.”
The answer only reflects that we are meeting our survival needs.
But just because our survival does not mean it should make us happy.
The survival pattern will nourish our body, but if we do not nourish our soul, we will eventually feel no angry.
The important thing is that although we need to do something that can help us survive, such as full -time jobs to pay for salary and cooking meals to promote our bodies, we have created time and space to raise souls and help us flourish.
These are three simple practice to help me do this.
1. Start with joy.
I reflect the reason why I really stimulate my inner joy. Even if I have to dig deep, I know what I like to do. I thought when I was present, what made me smile and smile, and when I felt relaxed and relaxed. This is to check all the boxes that nourish my soul, and ignite my inner light, joy, love and peace.
2. Write down.
A few years ago, I found an old diary I received as a birthday gift. On the first blank page, I wrote “Achievement” As a title instead of “” Because I want to show what nourishes my soul and write it into existence.
I list five things-write five things (that is, news or diary), practice self-care every day (that is, stretch or apply masks), read twice a week One time (that is, try a new dessert recipe, sew or make DIY candles). I focus on what I know can create time and space. When I cure, study and grow to maintain the consistency with the call of my soul, I will regularly sign the list with myself.
3. Take action and maintain consistency.
I try my best to create time and space for all the contents of me this week. Every Sunday, I will read it Achievement Pay attention to what I can or cannot do. If I can’t do one or more I listed for any reason, I will give priority to it next week.
If there is a regular loss of one or more things, I just minus it from the list, so as not to complete what I do because I have not completed it and I can continue to complete it. This registration will help me create time and space to nourish my soul and keep it consistent.
Although we must do what to help us survive, we don’t have to lose ourselves in the survival mode. We can work, clean, cook, and perform other daily tasks while nourishing our soul.
Survival always finds a method of prosperity. Therefore, it is important to intentionally create time and space for nourishing our soul, because it is often pushed to the back burner. When we nourish our souls, we wake up with an exciting spirit and energy, and we feel happier.
About Jasmine Randhawa
Jasmine Randhawa is a writer who has published children’s picture books and former personal injury legal lawyers, creative author. In the education and experience of writing, writing, and being stressed, anxiety, trauma, and losses, joy and peace. See more of her works: https: //linktr.ee/jasminekaurtody.
