“The most powerful thing you can do now is to be patient when things are developing.” ~ Idil Ahmed (Idil Ahmed)
When a door is closed, the other door opens, as the saying goes. From the experience, I know that the new door is not always open immediately. Usually, you spend a while in the corridor, between the past and will be.
About two years ago, I decided to resign. In the process of making major decisions, I decided to abandon the apartment and go abroad for a while. I don’t have a new plan that has been thoughtful, but I just feel that it is time to continue.
When my loved ones expressed their doubts about my plan, I waved them and determined that I would figure it out. Honestly, I hope that the new plan will happen immediately after making a decision.
Most of my life, work, interpersonal relationships and living spaces in the stages of my life follow each other. I really expect that there is no difference this time.
When the new stage does not start immediately, you can imagine my surprise. Answer, the opportunity and the big synchronization are not only under my feet. I get a lot of confusion and self -doubt.
In the middle of all this, my long -term relationship is over, which adds another uncertainty to my life. I was in the corridor at the time, and it felt like I was waiting for the door.
One or other ways, most of us spend time in the corridor throughout our lives. The corridor is the stage between the two chapters of life, and it seems that nothing happens. This internal stage can adopt many shapes and forms.
Sometimes you choose to get there, for example, when you take a vacation or choose to focus on yourself. At other times, this decision is made for you: Maybe your physical and mental health will force you to suspend. Maybe you can choose from work, business, or your partner chose to end your love relationship.
What we think of is that there is still a space between the place where we want to bring into life (from the company to anything of the parents) and the place where it realizes it. It may also feel like a stage at that time. We have no place we want, but we are very focused on arriving there.
We want to be conteE forgot to enjoy what we are now hereEssence We did not enjoy the journey and all the small steps along the way, but focused on where we should be.
Most of us don’t want to spend time between the two. This may be a very uncomfortable period, because it involves a lot of uncertainty.
It feels like being trapped in the middle of the desert: everything looks the same, there is no direction to solve us. We don’t know how long or the next step will be during this period. It can make us doubt everything we know and believe, which may be disturbing.
There are different strategies in the internal stage. I know that because I tried all these, the result was half ginseng.
You may choose to knock all the doors crazy until one door opens. The problem of this strategy is that although it can be understood, this is a method of fear. Rather than deciding to have a deep trust in yourself and life, you will be attached to the open door.
There is also a choice to lie on the floor and wait for the door to appear. Although sometimes played, this is not the most capable strategy. When things spend longer than your expected time, it is also a slippery slope.
Then you can choose to treat this period as an opportunity. Have a chance to better understand yourself, and familiarize your fear and doubt, hope and desire. If you allow it, this stage can make you closer and make you advance in a more real and consistent way.
I spent a longer time that I had to admit from the strategy from the first and two to the third time, but when I finally did this, these were some courses I learned.
1. When you lose your own self -worth, you will understand your identity.
Most of us are very attached to some of the identity. Whether it is our job, relationship or our thoughts on ourselves. The more we have attached to the door we have closed, the more uncomfortable this stage. And the more we may need this time.
At the stage between the two, you have the opportunity to see who you are, and without everything you think. In the process, you invite you to realize that you are more valuable than these identities.
I have always thought that I was a person who followed her intuition and bravely followed her path. In my interpersonal relationship, I played the same role to encourage others. When I was neither sure nor brave, I learned that I was still a caring friend and family. Opening my feelings makes others safely share their deeper feelings.
No one intends to play a role. We are all creatures, and all of our parts are valuable.
2. A period of uncertainty makes you have the opportunity to be more flexible to fear.
Sometimes your greatest fear is realized in this middle stage. This is really frightening. But this is also a good opportunity. When your deep fear happens, you have the opportunity to integrate fear so that you will no longer be controlled by it in daily life.
It gives you the opportunity to deal with it, not just hope that it will never happen. Therefore, it can bring you great freedom. If this happens and you can handle it, maybe your ability is beyond your imagination.
When I was in trouble, I realized that I was deeply worried that my life would not really go anywhere, and I could never exert my potential. This makes me feel very scared of failure and rejection, because I think these experiences will confirm my core fear.
In the process of creating a new path, I face the share of failure and rejection. At first, I felt at a loss, and I wanted to give up trying. But gradually, as I learned to deal with these feelings, I found a deeper sense of security inside.
As uncomfortable emotions appear, learn to feel them in your body. Familiar with the feeling and breathing. Implementation tools to calm your nervous system (such as deep breathing or listening to music) so that you can regulate your safety.
The more comfortable the mood becomes more comfortable, the more toughness it is to their toughness. Well, you no longer need to avoid things that you are afraid, which may bring you huge happiness.
3. The period between meters is the opportunity to advance in different ways.
Usually, the next step is to adopt logical steps in the next step. Therefore, in life, we often take the next logical steps instead of reflecting on whether this is consistent with our deepest desire.
It is a challenge to walk out of that paved road and enter the wilderness, but it is also very meaningful. In the middle period, forcing you to make a conscious choice: Do you imagine that you can continue to move forward, or do you want to make you move forward?
When you learn to find security in uncertainty and let go of the attachment to things that are not suitable for you, the space you can open forward in different ways. With the trust of new discovery, it is easier to make decisions that are consistently consistent with you.
4. Change is usually gradual and can only be seen clearly afterwards.
In some moment, you can enter a new stage of life from a moment to the next moment. But usually, there is no time to change everything. You suddenly know that you must know how to do a little breakthrough moment.
Instead, changes are usually a gradual process, and you can only see it completely when reviewing it. This is the combination of many small steps and courses, and the gradual integration of emotions brought about by changes. When you accept it completely, it is powerful.
This means that you do not have to dig the answer at one time or solve all the problems immediately, but learn to believe that what you do every day is important. Just like nature, life has a natural rhythm and season. Some seasons are big and exciting, and the rhythm of other seasons is slow.
Looking back at the past, I can see that I learned to gradually replace the choice based on fear, and this choice is more consistent. It began in seemingly small things, such as my morning routine work and the recipes I cooked, and evolved into founding its own business and deciding to approach the ocean. In a static state, I learned to sit in my own feelings and took a small step towards sustainable changes.
Therefore, perhaps when we move towards the door that inevitably appear at some point, we noticed that the corridor is not just the space between the two doors. It is a room in itself, which is a necessary and fruitful life stage. We understand that we will always be developing, continuous development, continuous development and life.
About Steffi Van Kessel
Steffi Van Kessel is a body coach. She helps people handle emotions and change her self -destruction models based on human consciousness. You can read more of her works here and register her news and communication here. Contact her here.
